Leadership Development Archives - Page 3 of 20

You’re Crazy, Eric

28 February 2014February 28, 2014Eric

Many times over the last ten years I’ve been called crazy. What exactly does that mean? I mean, “you’re crazy, Eric.” I believe it was code for “what if you fail?”

I’ve made it a point to learn how to read communication of the non-verbal variety. It has helped me cut through the fog and certainly the BS. By the way, you can apply this to yourself personally. I’ve created a lot of fog and BS in my own head before. Whenever I’ve been called crazy, it often has spurred me on. Almost like treasure map with clues. Imagine, “when you hear this, do that.”

Not every bet pays off. We all would do well to remember that the “house” is called the house for a reason. Even so, a little craziness, a little chaos is essential to moving to a life worth living. In my experience, I would never have taken the risks I’ve taken without those twins. I would have hidden behind my citadel and played it safe. Craziness and chaos forced me into a path that hurt, and created in me an Epic Life. A strange dichotomy, I know.

On those nights when I’d awaken at 2 AM, and wonder if I really had lost my mind, there was always his voice saying keep going…just keep going. This is important. You are going to encounter a dismantling during your steps, it is inevitable. Don’t believe the crowd or your own doubts when you wonder if you have lost your mind. Finding life over the sun might be the most challenging pursuit you’ll ever undertake.

Here are some reasons why I advocate the beauty of crazy:

Those who are not crazy are typically medicated and just wanting relief from a life that has no meaning at all
If you walk away from your craziness, you’ll find no one willing to follow
Maybe you’ve seen this clip? It strikes a good chord here
If you haven’t gotten into the habit of taking risks, time will rob you of that desire, and time doesn’t give refunds. Start small and start now
No one has truly lost by being crazy. People who live their lives to hide are the losers

I am thankful for the craziness.

5 Reasons to Be Creative

14 January 2014January 14, 2014Eric

I overheard a conversation with an adult family member yesterday. He was lamenting the sad reality of a creative’s existence. You’ve probably heard it before:

“They’re starving, and all artists starve.”

Funny how those who complain about the creative’s plight, often are big admirers of art (life, parenting, music, painting, cinema, etc.). So what gives? Is it really about starving and doing without? Is it really a dance with insanity to do what only seems to make sense to you?

As someone who tried to close and lock the door to my creative wiring, the wiring never goes away. I finally accepted it and learned to celebrate it. That was a crucial awakening.

For those who say retirement, promotions and prestige are the keys to a fulfilling life, that game is already been called.

Here are my 5 reasons to be creative:

The age of the doer is over. Just like many types of change, an age ends before the mass knows and feels it.
You were created to be creative. Not everyone will be a Miles Davis or Daniel Day-Lewis, but everyone has it in them if they are courageous enough to act on it.
Our collective wellbeing is calling out for this-desperately.
The status quo won’t seem so appealing.
Living over the sun will make a lot more sense.

What are some of your reasons for being creative?

Impatience and Reality

15 November 2013November 14, 2013Eric

Come on, Come on, when will I get off hold. Impatience enters stage right.

That was me this past week. I was on hold forever, listening to a narrator tell me how important my call was. My self-talk kicked in and I began to justify my impatience. Isn’t there a law that you can’t be put on hold for more than 20 minutes?

The point of this post is not about call center hold times. I really want to drive home this photo I got from my friend, Jim:

Our plans in our head are so pure and linear. I’m not writing anything you probably don’t already know-in your gut. But if you’re like me, the first drawing is very seductive. Not to mention, how tough reality can really be. Reality is the ultimate equalizer and humility pill. I’m thankful for it.

Years ago I was advised of the volatile pattern of entrepreneurism. Someone may have even shown me a graphic like the one above. My ego was too large. I convinced myself that I would be the exception. It was rooted in a desire to see something take root and fulfill a vision. That desire was very powerful. More and more, I treat my desires like a lion. The lion needs to know whom the master is. Absent that, I would be torn apart by a desire turned into an obsession. That’s a story with a disastrous ending.

What I do is a calling (from God). I have to do it. I can’t turn around and go back. I have only one option. Regardless, you should join me in accepting, if not embracing, reality. The business of “your plan” should be held onto lightly.

What I Need From a Leader

18 October 2013October 18, 2013Eric

I have influencers and so do you. So, the following are some traits I need from leaders in my life:

Integrity-a worn out word that represents our culture’s desperate desire for someone who is willing to do what’s right, no matter what. This is an area of choice. We choose to have integrity or we choose not to. By-the-way, integrity is not measured in degrees. You either have integrity or you don’t.
Creativity-this is not confined to the painter and musician. It’s the person who is engaged and willing to try new things. They also are not afraid of making mistakes or being laughed at.
Unimpressed-a trait where the person doesn’t care about titles, office locations or how many letters/words come after their names. I’m ok with the titles, I’m not ok with a leader who needs to wear a title like a name tag.
Humility-same as integrity in many ways. It also represents someone who has been hurt, someone who faced down adversity. These are what I call, “been to the edge” leaders.
Realism-an ability to dream and yet understand what is in front. A dreamer without realism is often a wanderer. Believe me, I have first-hand experience.
Vulnerability-one of the most difficult traits to live out, but essential in building real trust. I’m a work in progress in this regard. I’m glad to meet leaders who are focused on keeping it real and are willing to let me see the losses.
Giving-this is not only for charity, it is also related to a mindset. These are people who see other people as gifts from God and are willing to give them a chance.

That 10% Part

16 August 2013August 16, 2013Eric

From six years gone by, worth another look.

In my last post I outlined the importance of embracing the 90/10 rule. Today I have something to share from my own experience relating to the 10% part of the rule. You can definitely apply this to your career and many other areas of life.

My wife and I moved our 8 year-old daughter to a new school back in December. I won't elaborate on our reasons, but in the end we thought it better for her to be at a different school. We prayed, we researched and we took action.

It was my thought that my daughter would transition well. My main reason for thinking this way was her personality (social animal who has never met a stranger) wiring. I felt she would make friends, rise to the occasion and the rest would be history.

Now here's what I didn't expect: a little girl that desperately wants everyone to like her. I know those of you out there who are counselors would remind me that I didn't prepare her for the inevitable rejection she would encounter. Fair enough.

My main point here is that-smart or dumb-I really didn't expect this challenge. And I am discovering things about my daughter that I didn't know before. Fortunately, I have a wife who carries much wisdom and I am being sensitive to my daughter's movement through a big change.

So what if I denied that my daughter was experiencing this? What if I ignored it? You know what the results would be.

Here are some specific insights for dealing with the 10%:

You don't have to like what happens, you just have to tackle it head on (delicately in the case of my daughter).
Don't expect things to be easy (change is a process, not an event).
You will make mistakes in your dealing with the 10%. Just ask my daughter on this one:).
Sometimes you're gonna be powerless to do anything. That's OK, you don't have control over everything in life.
There's a reason the 10% could be considered the land of the crucible. Fire makes impurities rise to the surface. We need to get rid of those, and that can be painful.

What’s Wrong with the Status Quo?

9 May 2013May 9, 2013Eric

One of our greatest enemies, from a 2012 post.

So what's wrong with the status quo? A lot, when it comes to problems that continue to get worse.

For the purposes of getting to the heart of things, here's the definition of "status quo" from the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary:

The existing state of affairs (seeks to preserve the status quo)

I'll use my own experience to set some context and you can apply my example to anything you like.

About 25 years ago I persecuted my dad in-person and alone. I was angry for what was done and for what was missing. I waged this case on what seemed like a daily basis. I protested, I lied, I ignored, and I was silently cruel.

At a point, a few years into my marriage, my wife asked me if I realized how distant and cruel I became when I was around my father. I denied it, I defended myself and I felt exposed. How could she know my secret, my wound, my war? I decided to prosecute on.

The existing state of affairs (seeks to preserve the status quo)

You might wonder why I wouldn't make the choice to change, to turn it around, to forgive. I'm sure there are multiple reasons why, but certainly I felt more comfortable in the prosecution's case. I fooled myself into believing that my existing state would deliver an outcome I thought was right. Little did I know how wrong I was.

Many years on, my case rested and the charges were dismissed. I forgave and got a few years of peace and freedom before he passed. I actually found a man I liked and certainly loved. I do, at times, wish I would have come to my senses or figured out that it Really is better to forgive.

Are you tracking with me? Can you see the danger in sticking with the status quo?

Think about this:

The status quo fools you into believing that all is well, regardless of the problems looking right at you.
The status quo demands you lie and defend.
The status quo assures you saftey and a future you won't have to deal with.
The status quo accuses (loudly) reformers of betrayal and madness.
The status quo uses fear to keep you in place.

Building and Managing Trust

8 May 2013May 8, 2013Eric

In one of the new ventures I'm working on, I've been brought on to help on multiple fronts. The company is a startup and that implies variety. The biggest job for me, however, is building and managing trust.

I never take this for granted. You shouldn't forget this either.

Building trust comes from a desire to show that you're worth trusting. It can be manifested in your words, but as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. If you have a relationship with a smart, actively engaged person, then you should expect that your words and actions will be observed for the purposes of building trust. I highly recommend you pay as much attention as possible here because more than likely the person observing you has been burned before.

Everyone been burned before.

Managing trust is the art of gratitude toward the one who has given the trust. When trust is given don't feel like you've arrived and begin to think autopilot is the order of the day. Complacency is sure way to lose everything you've built. I practice on purpose management. For example, what actions am I taking today that enhance or hinder. Ask these questions everyday.

Think of building and managing trust as a form of gardening. Build something beautiful and then keep the weeds out.

Knowing Your Limits

29 April 2013April 29, 2013Eric

This post is from back in 2008. We'll need this in the future to come.

The above insignia is for the U.S. Navy Seals. I didn't realize how significant the symbol was until I talked to Erik, whose brother is a Navy Seal.

Erik and I didn't talk much about war or fighting, but we did talk about knowing your limits.

The Seals go through very difficult training in the pursuit of becoming elite. A part of that training is discovering your limits. My understanding is when a Seal discovers their limits they are better prepared for the extreme situations inevitable in their job. Some say enlightenment arrives as well with a discovery of one's limits. I would agree.

So how about you? Have you discovered, and do you know your limits?

In years past I didn't want to know. I thought knowing my limits would bring me too close to the "brink." So many times I chose the expedient and practical The brink is good for you though. I say this, knowing how painful it can be. No one signs up for it (except maybe the Navy Seals) and many times we just want a break.

Here are some ideas around discovering and knowing your limits:

When the storms (business drop-off, health issues, job loss, relationship troubles) come, stop. You're heading into a time of discovering your limits. Ironically, the choice is yours as to the staying and fighting. You could choose an easy route to escape, and many do.
Focus on what is being produced inside of you. This is a future-forward perspective. In other words, a seed is planted, but you don't see the fruit for some time to come. You have to believe.
Prepare for people to desert you. It's not personal, but it is true. Limits are markers for what many people see as dangerous, frightening or pure madness. When you find someone willing to stick with you during your discovery and knowing, you've found someone you can count on.
Don't get bitter or resentful over anything.
Don't be too hard on yourself when the mistakes are made. Mistakes are a part of the process.

The Navy Seals are an elite group of people. They've set a good example of what we all should be willing to do in our career, relationships, health and dreams.

Discover and know your limits.

Education Revolution From Sir Ken Robinson

19 April 2013April 19, 2013Eric

This post is from a few years back and just as relevant. Thanks goes out to my friend Andy for prompting me.

There is no doubt in my mind that Sir Ken Robinson get's "it" when it pertains to our education system. He does an excellent job in the below speech exposing many lies. Tough road ahead for change.

We Don’t Need Anymore Actors

13 April 2013April 13, 2013Eric

I'm doing more and more everyday to keep things real with everyone I encounter. This is significant because I'm a recovering actor.

We don't need anymore actors.

Keeping things real now is not such a chore for me now. Occasionally, I'll have an adviser alert me if my writing or speaking is sounding too "corportese" or "suit-like." Nothing against the corporate soldiers, it's just people have enough of that coming at them already.

Maybe it's just too terrifying for some to be who they are. Like the child at recess who feels awkward about asking to join in the game, due to the rejection of the herd previously. Or the adult sitting in the team meeting feeling embarrassed because their boss personally made them an example of what is frowned upon. If I had the ability, I would be right by their sides telling them:

"It's not you! There's nothing wrong with you."

The difficulty in keeping things real is becoming almost epidemic in my country. I mean, let's face it, many worship actors, entertainers, showmen, and celebrities. The lines of what is real and what is not have been blurred. I can understand why you might find it difficult to be who you really are.

The following is a question that came to me about 10 years ago. It stopped me cold when it landed in my ears, went to my mind and settled in my heart:

"Eric, are you really Eric or are you a representative of him?"

We don't need anymore actors. The problems we face, and will face, tell me we're going to need those who are real. People who are humble, wise and unafraid. The actors are only thinking of themselves. Believe me I know from personal experience. They really are not interested in you, just what is yours.

If you find yourself in the actor's camp today, you can look at me as an example of how one person can change. It's worth it.