I read once that if you want to get comfortable with telling lies to others, you need to get comfortable with telling lies to yourself. Kind of chilling when you think about it. I agree with the analogy.
Now, what are these self-lies we tell ourselves? In my case, during my days in the corporate world, it was performance. For example, if I hit this number I will get an applause at the weekly staff meeting. I would sit and find myself perspiring and feeling so much adrenaline at the thought of telling my peers how well my group was doing. The lie I embraced was that age-old dysfunction of; “if I do this or that, I will be liked/loved.” Did my peers like/love me because of my great feats? No, and if some were of the flattering variety, it never lasted very long.
Telling, and believing, self-lies is a dangerous habit. Like an awful addiction to any opiate. You can never find the strength to stop. It can cripple you from finding and leading an Epic Life. One scary part is found in how many people/messages are out there to fuel the habit. It ends when the habit births regret.
In the end, lies are lies, no way around it.
Lying to oneself is not only confined to the individual. But creeps into the organizational world too. Take the large corporation that proclaims, via marketing, that it values the client. Ironically, though, its client service department can’t even return phone calls in a reasonable fashion. The organization continues to print materials, hold town hall meetings, formats focus groups, but the truth is still the same; valuing a client is more of a fantasy. And by the way, most loyal clients know this.
So what happens if we start embracing the truth versus the lie? Here are some outcomes to consider:
- We can get down to the business of change-for the better.
- We’ll stop blaming the competition, our dads, the economy or some other phantasm for our poor results.
- Focus and happiness.
- A legacy colored in the brush strokes of love and action.
I’m sure there are more outcomes to list, but the point remains for us to stop the lies. Our Epic Life/Venture depends on it.