The Loss and the Gain

As painful as it may sound, and potentially feel, being in a position where you have nothing to lose is a pretty inspired place to be.  I'll give you one caveat with that; it is a relative exercise.  In other words, your place of nothing to lose could look different than mine.

The following is a clip from Inc  They did a fabulous job featuring Ryan Blair, the author or Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain.  He has a perspective that I "get."  Take the time to watch and see if he doesn't make you think through your own perspective on how you view losses and gains.


 

My big take-away from Ryan's talk is you don't want to be in the middle.  It's a vulnerable place to be.  If you're not careful you'll wake up and find you're a slave to multiple things (job, money, power, etc.).  And remember, there are people who don't make a lot of money, don't have prestigious titles, don't get promoted, who are very wealthy.

Manage your life well!

 

No Promises

No Promises 

We would have been better off hearing early on in our adult lives that there are no promises given in life and work.  Some of you might be thinking I deserve the "duh" award about now.  But isn't it ironic how often we hear and throw around promises.  Often this happens without any thought at all.

What if we heard something like the following:

    "No promises here, just the opportunity to get up after falling down and to try again."

Maybe not the cure-all, but certainly clear and based in reality. 

In America, we're so obsessed with success and winning that we tend to run from the "loss" like the plague.  What exactly do we learn when we succeed?  Much I hope, but if we're honest we just want it to keep going.  In our time many of those successes are hollow and unfulfilling.  So sad, since a fulfilling win can only come after the bitter taste of failure.  

We can't change the past (yesterday), so let's get on with it.  You should not expect that every road leads to the dreams in your head.  Follow your gut and be prepared to course correct.  So many give up because they wanted life just as they desired.  They fail to realize that it takes a lot of pain and disappointment to birth a dream come true.  Eyes wide open here, ladies and gentlemen.

The following is a list of promises I've been willing to put all of myself into.  But first understand, I made a decision some time ago that I would allow myself to be vulnerable and accept the risk inherent.  Vulnerability and risk come together to open the door to happiness.  Even with that, I've been hurt in all of these areas.

  1. The type of promises given to me by God.
  2. The marriage promise from my wife.
  3. The promises from friends like Rick, Marc, Terry, Steve, Jim, and Robert.
  4. Generally promises that come from people I meet for the first time, but I always manage those with verification in-mind.
  5. The type that come from my children.  Verification is important here, but more importantly, they need to understand that I believe in them.

What Failure May Really Mean

There is no doubt that we here in America are success obsessed.  In some ways it makes total sense.  Everyone desires to see positive results from what we put our lives into.  Not everyone measures it the same, but the desire remains.  But in this frame, I'm focusing on the kind of success that we tie our self-worth and identity to.  It is a problem-a big one.

I don't intend to unwrap the root cause of this success obsession.  However, I want to point out how the problem blocks us from breakthroughs.  Somewhere along the continuum, we bought some very expensive lies.  For example, you understand what failure means in the land of of success obsession.  It is to be avoided at all costs and you are to stay away from anything or anyone who has the unfortunate luck of experiencing it.  This is a big mistake to make because the road to breakthrough is paved, in part, by failure.

What if failure is a house of experiements?  What if failure is a refining fire for character and integrity?  What if no true success can come without a significant amount of failure?  I see great value in experiments, integrity and true success.  This column from Sir James Dyson really sets a good tone on this.

 

Aspiring To What’s Not Really There

Very easy these days to want success, fame and fortune.  I mean who wouldn't want that?  When the economy is not performing like we want or we're knocking on the door of landing a prized client, it kind of justifies our pursuit.  An understandable discontent to be sure.

But it's an illusion.  Think of it like a golden carrot that's always one step out of our reach.  And just like a drug, we keep coming back for more.  We always find an excuse for what we know deep down is true. 

In my experience what we aspire to should be Real and within our reach.  That implies that we can aspire to the wrong things.  And the wrong things create a question of trustworthiness.

Can you be trusted with the vision given to you?  Can you be trusted with the aspiration that comes along with?

The following are some tough questions to ask as you consider:

  1. Are you involved in things bigger than yourself?
  2. Can you be content even when nothing seems to break your way?
  3. Do you have a desire to find your limits?
  4. If you died today, what and how big would the void be?
  5. Do you have to "take" in-order to win?
  6. What charms you?
  7. Is there anyone besides God who knows all of your secrets?
  8. If you have attained some level of success, fame and fortune, could you walk away from it?
  9. If everyone you knew, and loved, recommended you give up, could you continue the journey anyway?
  10. Have you rejected comfort?

The Love Affair

Ever thought about how much time you spend working?  Ever thought about how much of your identity is shaped by work?  Ultimately, I’m speaking to those that work eight or more hours per day in an organization (profit or non-profit).  Much has been written about the work place and all of the dysfunctional goings on.  But where should all of this land, in light of LIFE?

Some of you will spend thirty or more years working.  Your happy, your sad.  You get a promotion, you get fired.  As someone whose experienced all of those things, I can tell you that my life is not measured in large portion by work.  I am learning more and more each day that what matters is what is in my heart.  My life will be truly defined by that.  Even more importantly, will what’s in my heart “get out?”

Many of you are thinking that you can’t put time and focus on things of the heart.  If you’re reading this then you’ve been given the gift of life, therefore successs in the things of the heart is what you should be pursuing.

By the way, you’ll be more of a success in your work when you pursue being a success in the things of the heart.