Are You Restless?

I heard a "motivational coach" once say that people need quick coaching.  In a sound-bite world like ours, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Maybe he thinks that if it takes longer than ten minutes, people won't move.  Is this true for you?  Are you restless? In some ways it is true, but I think its more a matter of leaders not giving people substance and candor. Clarity goes a long way in the creation of energy. People rise or fall on the expectations of the leader. And certainly he or she's time spent in helping a follower matters. 

In my experience, nothing has come easy or overnight…no matter how much I wished it would have.  The truth of what the term "long run" means, applies hear. You probably get that reality is far different than fantasy and we avoid the ugly truth of waiting like the plague. 

We claim we're too busy to spend more than ten minutes to grow ourselves.  It's as if life is lived half-empty. What a mistake!  I think most are just lost and not sure where to go.  They've given up on their dreams and are accepting a poor imitation.  Titles, money, power and the like won't fill up the vacuum inside you.  Human beings were not wired to be fulfilled by the titles, money and power.  Titles, money and power were designed to be used for the benefit of others…that's the only way they can be held in check.

Think about the following:

  1. Is what you're chasing really that important?
  2. Are your relationships suffering or growing because of what you're chasing?
  3. Why can't you give more than ten minutes (if that describes you) to the gift of life?
  4. Do you really know what your priorities are?
  5. Do you realise that its not all about you (see A Note from Bosses to Employees post from Execupundit)?
  6. Do you know that all of us are terminal?

Ideas Are Not Enough

Ideas are not enough in business and personal. There was a point in my entrepreneur journey, though, when I believed having a great idea was enough. It isn't.

I attended a breakfast meeting this morning sponsored by a local group, TechColumbus. The presenters were from Clarus Parners and they gave wonderful insights into the art and science of presenting your business for funding/investment.

As I sat in the meeting, I couldn't help but think about how much I've learned over the last 5 years. I'm pleased to be where I'm at today. One of the big lessons is understanding that you can't just rely on a good or great idea. Your ideas need a full-spectrum of attention. It runs from capital to advice.

Here are some notes from the presentation this morning:

  • Know your sales trends. Are they up? Are they down. Is the trend long or short-term in nature?
  • What's the real value of your idea? Warren Buffett said, "Price is what you pay. Value is what you get."
  • Be realistic in your projections.
  • Investors want to see that you've got "skin in the game." How much of what you've got (money, time, intellectual property, etc.) is attached to the idea?
  • Funding comes when both sides see desired value.
  • Surround yourself with quality advisors.

 

Candor and Clarity

I've written before about the importance of clarity on the part of managers. Most of that was directed at mid-level managers who are often tasked with leading individual contributors.

This post is directed at those who are steering at the senior level. It may be an obvious, but candor and clarity is important. Consider the following:

  • Every organization should be willing to be clear and candid about the direction of the enterprise. If you are a publicly-held group, then you may have some disclosure issues to navigate. That said, legal limitations on what can and cannot be disclosed should not be an excuse for a lack of candor and clarity.
  • Every organization should let their employees know what the value system is based on, even if it means the employee is not at the top of the list. Avoiding this discussion/communication could be fatal. So many employers and employees operate under assumptions. Assumptions that go out the window when the storms come.
  • Every organization should be clear about how the organization makes money. This places a shared accountability and education.
  • Every organization must understand the life-cycle of and employee and give those employees the room to move on. So many organizations live in fear of employees leaving. Turn-over (internally or externally) due to terrible managers is bad (really bad), turn-over due to an employee completing the mission and moving onto a new dream is a great thing. By the way, the latter example might make your company a highly desired place to work.
  • Every organization should be able to communicate when the end is near. I know it sounds morbid, but don't tell an intelligent adult things are good when collapse is not far off. By giving them the tough reality upfront you give an opening to prepare. Every good employee deserves this kind of candor and clarity.

If you work for an organization that finds candor and clarity nearly impossible, I would consider moving on because a lack of candor and clarity is usually a sign of decline. The irreversible type of decline.

10 Things I’ve Learned from Marriage

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It seemed like the right time (just my mood I guess) to right this post about the 10 things I've learned from marriage. This list is could be longer, but I recognize I only have you for so long.

Here we go:

  1. It goes by fast, so I value the now and the memories.
  2. Your not as smart and "together" as you think you are.
  3. When times get tough, there is no greater a friend to have.
  4. Marriage has kept me from drowning in my own blues.
  5. One person can make a difference like no one ever before.
  6. Marriage is not, nor will ever be, a 50/50 proposition. I have needed more than her 50 percent on more occasions than I care to admit.
  7. It's the hardest and most rewarding work I've ever been involved in.
  8. The art of commitment.
  9. Falling in Love can go on and on and on and…
  10. Marriage is the riskest venture I've ever undertaken. It's taught me about the reward and the loss that are inevitable in life.

The Problem with Busy

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I live in a community that has many families.  I think the last number I saw it was around 80-85% families.  Last night I took a step back and looked around a room of parents and wondered if anyone could look back on their day and find something meaningful (a mark left so that world would know you were alive and contributed) poured out?  Busyness is often a mask to hide our lack of purpose and happiness.  Despite that, I really believe most want purpose and meaningful pursuits.

One of the areas of opposition is living in an age where we've defined "leaving a mark" down and we've elevated busyness as our substitute.  In many ways we feel that a long list of activities produces substance.  It doesn't.  Enter stage left the mask of hypocrites.  We're great actors and actresses.  Giving the appearance that all is well and under control.  We even have calendars to prove it and make it so.  The problem with busy is it wears you down and out.  The scary part is found in our belief that the alternative (quality, focused priorities, meaningful work) is not an option.

Look around you, how has all this busyness benefited us?

I'm not here to define what should be meaningful in your life.  That's your job to tackle.  But here's an acid test to try at the end of your day today:

    The things i participated in today were meaningful because_________.

For some help, see my definitions of meaningful:

  •     Saying I love you consistently
  •     Time alone with God
  •     Laughter
  •     Helping my children answer the tough questions
  •     Being authentic
  •     Embacing nature
  •     Physical exercise
  •     Family dinners
  •     Encouraging people through Epic Living (the work within the org.)
  •     Managing and integrating what I value most into my daily existence

The Hard Choice

Daily, we all face a multitude of choices. Human nature drives us to the easy ones. Defining moments are found in the hard choice. You know, the one you'd rather not do or would rather ignore.

The problem is really on the front-side pain. The initial struggle and dislike associated. Many lose out on their dreams by giving into their fear and avoidance.

It would be great if there were a voice telling us "it's ok, the pain is worth it." The truth is we do-in one form or another.

The listening and doing part is the crux. 

Pulling Back the Curtain

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"When you pull back the curtain, you'll realize that you can only play someone else's role for so long."

    -Author Unknown

When I read the above quote it made me think of our institutionalized game of acting. Daniel Day-Lewis and George Clooney may have one an Oscar, but they have nothing on you and I. It's a daily prayer and daily fight for me, to be the role I've been given.

The world we live in today embraces the imitation.

I really believe it's an institutionalized epidemic, this "playing someone else's role" thing. We have all the illusions to show for it to. Consider the following:

  • We've turned Love into a game of chase and feelings. Few understand the cost of loving and how hard the work is. Most relationships (even the best ones) go by quickly. You have one shot, it will include heartache and it will cost you something. The cool part is when we're all in, it is a key to really being alive. Have you stopped to consider the commitment required in loving? 
  • We say we know that money can't make us happy, but we live like the addict who says they're gonna stop this time. Inevitably, the pull is too great and they go back to what is killing them. Do you realize that money has no emotion and no possible way to connect to your longings? Don't be fooled by the initial "hit" or "euphoria." Only you can make you happy.
  • We're wired to dream, but we kill, and allow others, to kill our dreams. This may be the saddest situation of all because our time is so limited and we don't get a do-over. No flip advice here and just know that every dream we kill shortens our time. Don't believe me? Look around your workplace, house of worship, neighborhood, and you'll see many who are alive, but walking dead.

So what's the answer?

I'll leave it with my experience:

    I made my life, and the One who gave it, central in all that I do. When life becomes central you become liberated to play the role only you can truly play. It will also protect you from the above bullet points. Every time I've allowed other things (career, money, relationships, etc.) to become central, trouble was never too far behind. An insidious type of trouble where even those you think care, will allow you to walk right into the traps.

You can also count on the most wonderful and confounding truth of difficulty and happiness intermingled to create a life worth living. I say this because I'm at a place now where I'm a bit confused about what's next. Ironic or not, this confounding truth is shaping and preparing me. So I accept and know that I am playing the role only I can play.