Author: Eric

You

Mirror image 

We're seeing much upheaval in many spots right now.  Besides the business disruptions, we see a world that seems to have lost its mind.  In America we wonder if our elected leaders realize the impact of their influence.  There is also a big portion of folks who just want to live their lives and take care of what's been given to them.  All of these are legitimate concerns and situations.

As I write here, I wonder if way too many have ceded the management of their lives to governments, corporations, etc.

Here's the thing, we often talk about wanting balance, wanting meaning, wanting a great career, wanting the best for our family.  But those outcomes don't arrive without you actively managing their process.  The rub is firmly affixed to the reality that management is hard work.  And when the corporation (or any other formal institution) comes calling offering to take over management, trouble is set in motion.  The kind of trouble that gets  more difficult to change the longer you're involved.

I've written and worked with people on the art and science of total life management.  The idea of it can be daunting at first thought, but total life management is the single best approach to keeping life healthy in a holistic way.  For additional perspective, consider this piece from Thomas Friedman of the NY Times.  His thoughts are timely and almost prophetic.

The New Net-Worth

Measuring net-worth is a pretty linear process for many people/businesses.  Just subtract your liabilities from your assets, and voila you have your net-worth. Right?

Where I live (USA), we all are dealing with a new paradigm.  Some of us know it, some of us are denying it and some of us are just wondering in the desert.  Regardless of where you fall on that list, change has come. Our lives are different and I sense it's permanent.

It's interesting to me how old habits die hard.  Many are still rather obsessed about money and career.  Still partying on the Titanic I guess.  But what if money and career are only a part of your net-worth?  Sort of like two rooms in your house versus the entire dwelling.

In our work we advise people to see their net worth in way that is representative of their entire life…8 areas specifically.  The illustration below will reveal what those eight areas are:

Wheel of Life 
If I asked you to calculate your net-worth based on the wheel, how much would you be worth?  Are you in the black or in the red?  How prepared are you for the harsh winds of change?  And by the way, there are some who make six-figures who are actually very poor.  It is tragic.

I think you've probably figured out that my post is not designed to get you to abandon money and career.  But it is designed to get you to put things in their proper place.  A place where you begin to integrate the 8 areas in a deliberate way.

Yes, it is tough work.

The take-away here is found in that new paradigm.  If you think focusing only on career and money is a sound strategy, then I have some bad news for you.  It worked (or so we deluded ourselves into believing) during the days of continual prosperity.  But the truth is, it never worked and it certainly won't work now.  We have now entered into an age where the danger of ignoring/neglecting our total life will produce catastrophic results.  Maybe you've lost your job of 20 years and you never took the time to pay attention to your mental health, so managing the stress of job loss is crippling.  Maybe your marriage has crumbled around you and your wondering why you didn't spend time listening to your spouse's needs.  You get my point.

Turn around while you can, things have changed.  If you're wondering how this work is accomplished, then stay tuned.  We'll be working with our strategic partner Take Time for Life to present an experience that will show how managing your life (totally) can be done.

Getting Your Life Back

When I was twelve I knew I wanted to be this:

 

As time has moved on, I still am, and do desire to continue to be, an artist.  The level and notice that comes my way always changes.  Absolutely fine with me.  I am an artist creating daily with words, with ideas with love, and with my life. 

Many years ago I allowed the Matrix (corporations, people, religion, and more) to convince me that I was not an artist or someone wired with a lot of imagination and creativity.  It whispered ever so softly that I needed put the "art" away and remember the importance of security. It almost worked, but I wanted and got my life back.  I write the following with great emphasis:

    Get your life back!  Whatever you must do, get your life back.

Now, here are the lessons I've learned in this motion picture:

  1. Go slow and start small.  One more time, go slow and start small.
  2. Most people are not going to like you beyond the surface.  Your life is not about the surface, so get on with it.
  3. Ask for help.
  4. Know what's most important to you, not to anyone else, as be commited to those things.
  5. You can't make people happy or ok, even those you love deeply.

Connecting on Google+

Google+ 

I am actively engaged in the land of Google+.  If you're a subscriber to the Epic Living blog and would like to connect there, send me an email with your information (email address) and I will forward you an invite.

Thank You

If you're a subscriber to my blog, I want to say thank you.  Allowing my words access into your life is a high honor to me.

Looking forward to the future days ahead.

The Road After the Tipping Point

I've only read parts of Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.  The cruel reality of tipping points is they often are not seen until after the train begins its departure from the station.  Good or bad, happy or sad we've seen this many times in our collective lifetimes.

In America, we're living in a post-tipping point place.  Our government is now exposed for what it truly is, organizations are now truly competing on a global playing field and the idea of a work-life contract is no longer a theory.  I know many in the middle part of America (other areas might be similar) who seem to be waiting.  In waiting, I mean waiting for the past to make an encore appearance in their lives.  This is rooted in desiring certainty and security.  In other words, what I knew before is much better than this unknown place I find myself in today.

I've counseled before that "known" things once were unknown.  And that life is full of multiple processes of moving from known to unknown and unknown to known.  We often resist this.  I'm sure it's rooted in our childhood and what we witnessed.  No blaming and judgement here, but if you had an example of "better to conform" than to take a risk at losing something, then you probably lean toward conformity.  Risking embarrassment or the pain of failing will be like the plague to you.

There is hope.

Up until 4 years ago, exercise was like a nagging wife or mother to me.  I consequently leaned toward fitful starts and stops for way too many years.  It wasn't until I decided that life was a gift to be nourished and treated well, did I make a decision to do the rewarding and hard work of exercise.  I've applied this in virtually every key (8) area of my life.  I haven't regretted it and my life is better for it.

Regardless of your circumstances, there will always be a road after the tipping point.  Some harder (reinvention, changing habits, etc.) than others, but always a road that leads to breakthrough.  Can you see it?

If I Had A Dollar…

Dollar 

Nice play on a favorite saying, but here's a short list from my experiences:

  1. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was crazy for trying.
  2. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me how great I was, but didn't mean it.
  3. If I had a dollar for every time I was told that Apple was just about computers.
  4. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to conform and get by.
  5. If I had a dollar for every time I followed my gut.
  6. If I had a dollar for every time I ignored the crowd.
  7. If I had a dollar for every time I face my fear and took a chance.

As you can tell, the critics and naysayers don't matter.

 

 

Does the World Need Another Social Network?

Ok, I've taken the dive with Google +. There are many out there who are wondering if we need another social network.  I asked myself the same question this afternoon and came to the following conclusions:

  1. We do need more social networks.  That doesn't necessarily many another Facebook or Twitter.  Maybe it's in your community where you live or a cause you're passionate about.  It's right as breathing.
  2. If you're taking the bumble bee approach to social networking (online or otherwise), then you need to reexamine your motivations.  Take a hard look at who you are or who you were before you drank the kool-aid, and then order your social networks around that.  You've got to do this.
  3. Google + is rightly placed.  Google has such a huge influence around the ordering of content and flow, that for them not to be involved would be silly.  I'm not gushing over with Google fan-love when I write this.  Google is like Churchill or Edition; what they created and impacted was bigger than who they were as influencers.
  4. All of this flurry on social netowrks and the experiements, ventures and such created have produced good strategy and tactics for me.  Lord knows, you need good strategy and tactics for your brand (personal or business) these days.  I'd be overwhelmed if I didn't.  For example, I know why I interact on Brazen Careerist versus why I interact on LinkedIn.  By the way, strategy and tactics will also lead you to learning the art of saying no and turning off things that have a button.
  5. If we were living in the industrial age, then Google +, Facebook and Twitter would be nothing more than eye candy and entertainment.  Since we are no longer in the industrial age, you should start acting differently.  Differently in that you think like an entrepreneur, even if you're far from it in form.  If you don't start acting differently, you may wake up and find yourself in a ghost town of one.

On Second Acts and Encores

Second act 

A wise friend once told me a long time ago that my life would be made up of multiple lifetimes.  I think I just nodded and went on.

Welcome to the future.

It's very clear that most people look into their personal crystal ball and define what they see accordingly.  The future. In my case I saw one long run on Broadway.  It was uninterrupted by life or the circumstances therein.  No shock here, but things often changed and I became good at navigating.  Sometimes the navigating was done by the stars.

In our time we are a culture of second acts and encores.  Reinvention is the norm.  At first glance for some this brings sadness.  Many were counting on things playing out as one show, one performance.  But reality set in and we were told the curtain was coming down.  We looked over our shoulder and saw someone younger, prettier and certainly cheaper lying in wait.  It was the end.

Or was it?

When our eyes are opened and things are clear we can understand a forgotten truth.  The truth of second acts and encores.  We are continually experiencing them.  And it is a good thing.  Call it the width of life and not just the length.  Those that have decided that security and stability are to be worshiped will not understand this.  I recommend you expect and embrace your second acts and encores.  Savor the opportunity to fashion a wonderful ending or a song concluding the performance.  Just don't linger too long over the empty auditorium.  This will take a little getting used to.

I have had friends, family, money, jobs, business ideas, and more that lasted for only a time.  Some ended sooner than I would have liked, others seemed to drone on and on.  But all were a part of forming the painting that is my life.  It is a strange dichotomy that we crave things that will ultimately hold us back, while rejecting the things that open up doors to our dreams. I fear less and my grip is now a little less firm because I want what's to come to just come and set me forward to the next act.  Is the alternative really a better option?

Here are some things you should consider for the road ahead:

  • Second acts and encores are happening whether you participate or not.  Everyone gets the chance to perform or leave the audience wondering what's wrong.
  • Since the second acts and encores are in motion, why not prepare?  Have a song list, rehearse how you will exit.
  • Don't romanticize your past.  It wasn't as great as you think it was.
  • If you're a rugged individualist, "self-made", a do it on my own type, then stop.  Life was not meant to be a solo journey.
  • Embrace your sadness as you would your happiness.