Author: Eric

On The Brink

Sometimes disappointing news comes in doses we would rather not take.  I have stopped trying to figure out how to reduce/eliminate the issue.  I'm continuing to learn the art of response.

As I continue to process my father's passing from 3 months ago, I have received more disappointing news than I thought I would this year.  Virtually all of the compartments of life have been touched.  The significance doesn't lie in the juicy details or whether I deserve to receive the news.  It comes down to the learning and the authenticity that flows afterward.  I strive to be someone who's journey is worth following.

I am confident that what unfolds before you will leave, if not lead, you to a better place.

The following post from June of last year seems appropriate for re-visitation:

Navy Seals Insgnia

The above insignia is for the U.S. Navy Seals.  I didn't realize how
significant the symbol was until I talked to Erik whose brother is a
Navy Seal. 

Erik and I didn't talk much about war or fighting, but we did talk about knowing your limits.

The Seals go through very difficult training in the pursuit of
becoming a Seal.  A part of that training is discovering your limits. 
My understanding is when a Seal discovers their limits they are better
prepared for the extreme situations inevitable in their job.  Some say
enlightenment arrives as well with a discovery of one's limits.  I
would agree.

So how about you? Have you discovered, and do you know your limits? 

In years past I didn't want to know.  I thought knowing my limits
would bring me too close to the "brink."  So many times I chose the
expedient and practical  The brink is good for you though.  I say this,
knowing how painful it can be.  No one signs up for it (except maybe
the Navy Seals) and many times we just want a break.

Here are some ideas around discovering and knowing your limits:

  • When the storms (business drop-off, health issues, job loss,
    relationship troubles) come, stop.  You're heading into a time of
    discovering your limits.  Ironically, the choice is yours as to the staying
    and fighting.  You could choose an easy route to escape, and many do.
  • Focus on what is being produced inside of you.  This is a
    future-forward perspective.  In other words, a seed is planted, but you
    don't see the fruit for some time to come.  You have to believe.
  • Prepare for people to desert you.  It's not personal, but it is
    true.  Limits are markers for what many people see as dangerous,
    frightening or pure madness.  When you find someone willing to stick
    with you during your discovery and knowing, you've found someone you
    can count on. 
  • Don't get bitter or resentful over anything.
  • Don't be too hard on yourself when the mistakes are made.  Mistakes are a part of the process.

The Navy Seals are an elite group of people.  They've set a good
example of what we all should be willing to do in our career,
relationships, health and dreams.

Discover and know your limits.

The Different Colors Of Leading People

Mosaic

Leading people is very much like the mosaic above.  The closer you get the more intricate the scene becomes-but beautiful.  Sadly, this idea is not taught or embraced often in the halls of management and leadership.  Why?  It's tough and leadership implies this reality.

We, as a culture, will continue to fail at leading as long as we expect people to be one or two shades only.  Expecting this implies that leadership should be easy.  You can complain about a lack of cooperation amongst your team or not enough time to engage in the moment with a customer.  But in the end, leading is a complex matter.

The complex matter is made simple with love.  So that you're left with a simple, but hard road to travel on. This is good.

I wrote earlier in the week about authenticity.  It's more important than ever today.  The climate makes this so.  Testing your level of authenticity is vital in the impact you're having on customers, employees, family, and the world.  For example, if you treat your employees like crap, but in the next engagement you tell the customer how important they are.  You're nothing but a fake.  And by the way, your customers will figure this out-sooner than later.

So how about the leading part?  Do you really want to lead people?  Do you want to engage and connect with a multicolored mosaic?  It's okay if you don't, just get out of the way and chart a new path.

The world is waiting for honest answers here.

The Art Of Speaking And Listening

I got the following quote today and wanted to share:

Most of us were born
hearing well, but all of us must learn to listen well. Listening is a
skill, an art that is in need of being cultivated.

Dr. Ralph Nichols,
considered by many to be an authority on the subject, believes that we think
four, perhaps five, times faster than we talk. This means that if a speaker
utters one hundred twenty words a minute, the audience thinks at about five
hundred words a minute. That difference offers a strong temptation to listeners
to take mental excursions . . . to think about last night's bridge game or
tomorrow's sales report or the need to get that engine tune-up before next
weekend's trip to the mountains . . . then phase back into the speaker's
talk.

Research at the
University of Minnesota reveals that in listening to a ten-minute talk, hearers
operate at only a twenty-eight percent efficiency. And the longer the talk, the
less we understand, the less we track with our ears what somebody's mouth is
saying.

        –Chuck Swindoll

I often wonder if communicators (including myself) are cognizant of where the hearers are.  In my own journey to becoming a great communicator I have learned that the speaking and the listening are both essential in connecting with others-in career and personal life.

By the way, if you want to test your speaking and listening skills, go spend some time with children and test your results.

The 90/10 Leadership Development Principle-Again

I wrote the following post some time ago, but I think it bears re-posting today:

So many principles, so little time:).  Seriously, I want to tackle
the 90/10 principle (10% is the unexpected good or bad, 90% is what you
choose) in relation to our life and career.

For many years I was told by mentors and colleagues that the 90/10
rule was important.  In the early years, I didn't want to have the
responsibility for 90% of my life.  It seemed so permanent to face the
consequences of my choices.  And I certainly didn't like the idea of
the 10%.  Who wants to be at the mercy of the unexpected? 

It was about 10 years ago that I really became conscious of the
principle.  So much so that it now is a part of my culture.  I use the
term conscious because unconscious living leads to incongruent values
(I say exercise is important, but I never do it) or plain old
hypocrisy.  No judgment here, but you need to be awake.

Here's why you need to embrace the 90/10 rule:

  • You must embrace, because the 90/10 rule embraces you.  Like it or not.
  • When you embrace, your leadership quality goes way up.  All of sudden you think before you act.
  • You must tame the beast inside.  Call it misplaced ambition,
    preoccupation with the opinions of others or greed.  When you realize
    that 90% of life is what you choose, you'll think twice about walking
    all over your co-workers.
  • You'll begin to think about your foundation.  Is it sand or stone?  When the unexpected comes what will keep you anchored?
  • Embracing the rule will simplify things.  It won't make life easy,
    but it will make you decide what's most important in career and life.
  • You'll make the breakthrough to realizing that no one/organization
    can make you happy.  Happiness is a choice (there's that 90% again) and
    only you can make this one.
  • You'll stop being afraid of your destiny and get on with the mission.
  • The Oscar for best motion picture should be your life.

Don't awaken to an accidental career or life.