Category: Learning

The New Net-Worth

Measuring net-worth is a pretty linear process for many people/businesses.  Just subtract your liabilities from your assets, and voila you have your net-worth. Right?

Where I live (USA), we all are dealing with a new paradigm.  Some of us know it, some of us are denying it and some of us are just wondering in the desert.  Regardless of where you fall on that list, change has come. Our lives are different and I sense it's permanent.

It's interesting to me how old habits die hard.  Many are still rather obsessed about money and career.  Still partying on the Titanic I guess.  But what if money and career are only a part of your net-worth?  Sort of like two rooms in your house versus the entire dwelling.

In our work we advise people to see their net worth in way that is representative of their entire life…8 areas specifically.  The illustration below will reveal what those eight areas are:

Wheel of Life 
If I asked you to calculate your net-worth based on the wheel, how much would you be worth?  Are you in the black or in the red?  How prepared are you for the harsh winds of change?  And by the way, there are some who make six-figures who are actually very poor.  It is tragic.

I think you've probably figured out that my post is not designed to get you to abandon money and career.  But it is designed to get you to put things in their proper place.  A place where you begin to integrate the 8 areas in a deliberate way.

Yes, it is tough work.

The take-away here is found in that new paradigm.  If you think focusing only on career and money is a sound strategy, then I have some bad news for you.  It worked (or so we deluded ourselves into believing) during the days of continual prosperity.  But the truth is, it never worked and it certainly won't work now.  We have now entered into an age where the danger of ignoring/neglecting our total life will produce catastrophic results.  Maybe you've lost your job of 20 years and you never took the time to pay attention to your mental health, so managing the stress of job loss is crippling.  Maybe your marriage has crumbled around you and your wondering why you didn't spend time listening to your spouse's needs.  You get my point.

Turn around while you can, things have changed.  If you're wondering how this work is accomplished, then stay tuned.  We'll be working with our strategic partner Take Time for Life to present an experience that will show how managing your life (totally) can be done.

Getting Your Life Back

When I was twelve I knew I wanted to be this:

 

As time has moved on, I still am, and do desire to continue to be, an artist.  The level and notice that comes my way always changes.  Absolutely fine with me.  I am an artist creating daily with words, with ideas with love, and with my life. 

Many years ago I allowed the Matrix (corporations, people, religion, and more) to convince me that I was not an artist or someone wired with a lot of imagination and creativity.  It whispered ever so softly that I needed put the "art" away and remember the importance of security. It almost worked, but I wanted and got my life back.  I write the following with great emphasis:

    Get your life back!  Whatever you must do, get your life back.

Now, here are the lessons I've learned in this motion picture:

  1. Go slow and start small.  One more time, go slow and start small.
  2. Most people are not going to like you beyond the surface.  Your life is not about the surface, so get on with it.
  3. Ask for help.
  4. Know what's most important to you, not to anyone else, as be commited to those things.
  5. You can't make people happy or ok, even those you love deeply.

The Road After the Tipping Point

I've only read parts of Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.  The cruel reality of tipping points is they often are not seen until after the train begins its departure from the station.  Good or bad, happy or sad we've seen this many times in our collective lifetimes.

In America, we're living in a post-tipping point place.  Our government is now exposed for what it truly is, organizations are now truly competing on a global playing field and the idea of a work-life contract is no longer a theory.  I know many in the middle part of America (other areas might be similar) who seem to be waiting.  In waiting, I mean waiting for the past to make an encore appearance in their lives.  This is rooted in desiring certainty and security.  In other words, what I knew before is much better than this unknown place I find myself in today.

I've counseled before that "known" things once were unknown.  And that life is full of multiple processes of moving from known to unknown and unknown to known.  We often resist this.  I'm sure it's rooted in our childhood and what we witnessed.  No blaming and judgement here, but if you had an example of "better to conform" than to take a risk at losing something, then you probably lean toward conformity.  Risking embarrassment or the pain of failing will be like the plague to you.

There is hope.

Up until 4 years ago, exercise was like a nagging wife or mother to me.  I consequently leaned toward fitful starts and stops for way too many years.  It wasn't until I decided that life was a gift to be nourished and treated well, did I make a decision to do the rewarding and hard work of exercise.  I've applied this in virtually every key (8) area of my life.  I haven't regretted it and my life is better for it.

Regardless of your circumstances, there will always be a road after the tipping point.  Some harder (reinvention, changing habits, etc.) than others, but always a road that leads to breakthrough.  Can you see it?

If I Had A Dollar…

Dollar 

Nice play on a favorite saying, but here's a short list from my experiences:

  1. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was crazy for trying.
  2. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me how great I was, but didn't mean it.
  3. If I had a dollar for every time I was told that Apple was just about computers.
  4. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to conform and get by.
  5. If I had a dollar for every time I followed my gut.
  6. If I had a dollar for every time I ignored the crowd.
  7. If I had a dollar for every time I face my fear and took a chance.

As you can tell, the critics and naysayers don't matter.

 

 

Does the World Need Another Social Network?

Ok, I've taken the dive with Google +. There are many out there who are wondering if we need another social network.  I asked myself the same question this afternoon and came to the following conclusions:

  1. We do need more social networks.  That doesn't necessarily many another Facebook or Twitter.  Maybe it's in your community where you live or a cause you're passionate about.  It's right as breathing.
  2. If you're taking the bumble bee approach to social networking (online or otherwise), then you need to reexamine your motivations.  Take a hard look at who you are or who you were before you drank the kool-aid, and then order your social networks around that.  You've got to do this.
  3. Google + is rightly placed.  Google has such a huge influence around the ordering of content and flow, that for them not to be involved would be silly.  I'm not gushing over with Google fan-love when I write this.  Google is like Churchill or Edition; what they created and impacted was bigger than who they were as influencers.
  4. All of this flurry on social netowrks and the experiements, ventures and such created have produced good strategy and tactics for me.  Lord knows, you need good strategy and tactics for your brand (personal or business) these days.  I'd be overwhelmed if I didn't.  For example, I know why I interact on Brazen Careerist versus why I interact on LinkedIn.  By the way, strategy and tactics will also lead you to learning the art of saying no and turning off things that have a button.
  5. If we were living in the industrial age, then Google +, Facebook and Twitter would be nothing more than eye candy and entertainment.  Since we are no longer in the industrial age, you should start acting differently.  Differently in that you think like an entrepreneur, even if you're far from it in form.  If you don't start acting differently, you may wake up and find yourself in a ghost town of one.

On Second Acts and Encores

Second act 

A wise friend once told me a long time ago that my life would be made up of multiple lifetimes.  I think I just nodded and went on.

Welcome to the future.

It's very clear that most people look into their personal crystal ball and define what they see accordingly.  The future. In my case I saw one long run on Broadway.  It was uninterrupted by life or the circumstances therein.  No shock here, but things often changed and I became good at navigating.  Sometimes the navigating was done by the stars.

In our time we are a culture of second acts and encores.  Reinvention is the norm.  At first glance for some this brings sadness.  Many were counting on things playing out as one show, one performance.  But reality set in and we were told the curtain was coming down.  We looked over our shoulder and saw someone younger, prettier and certainly cheaper lying in wait.  It was the end.

Or was it?

When our eyes are opened and things are clear we can understand a forgotten truth.  The truth of second acts and encores.  We are continually experiencing them.  And it is a good thing.  Call it the width of life and not just the length.  Those that have decided that security and stability are to be worshiped will not understand this.  I recommend you expect and embrace your second acts and encores.  Savor the opportunity to fashion a wonderful ending or a song concluding the performance.  Just don't linger too long over the empty auditorium.  This will take a little getting used to.

I have had friends, family, money, jobs, business ideas, and more that lasted for only a time.  Some ended sooner than I would have liked, others seemed to drone on and on.  But all were a part of forming the painting that is my life.  It is a strange dichotomy that we crave things that will ultimately hold us back, while rejecting the things that open up doors to our dreams. I fear less and my grip is now a little less firm because I want what's to come to just come and set me forward to the next act.  Is the alternative really a better option?

Here are some things you should consider for the road ahead:

  • Second acts and encores are happening whether you participate or not.  Everyone gets the chance to perform or leave the audience wondering what's wrong.
  • Since the second acts and encores are in motion, why not prepare?  Have a song list, rehearse how you will exit.
  • Don't romanticize your past.  It wasn't as great as you think it was.
  • If you're a rugged individualist, "self-made", a do it on my own type, then stop.  Life was not meant to be a solo journey.
  • Embrace your sadness as you would your happiness.

 

The Pain of Total Life Management

Pain

In our work with individuals and businesses in the realm of total life management, we sometimes encounter the roadblock of pain.  I’m referring to the type of pain associated with issue avoidance.  This post from Runner’s World is very compelling illustrating what I mean.  You can apply it to running, a fractured relationship or a workplace experience it doesn’t matter.

The gift of life does not reward us when we avoid issues in our 8 spheres of living.  They only stand to either be a slow decay or an Achilles Heel in our time allotted here.  Interestingly enough, my daughter asked me this morning whether I was sad about my older brother.  My brother is a heroin addict and has been a substance abuser for the majority of his adult life.  I explained to her that on a basic human condition level, I am sad for him.  But I made a decision some years ago to not allow the crippling sadness (the type where my life was being sucked away and damage was being done to others I care about) be a part of my life.  I did the crippling sadness routine for many years and it didn’t work.

We often look for things to cover up what we would like to avoid.  Before my eyes were opened, I used my career and the success that came with it.  By no stretch of the imagination do I have a problem or stress-free life, The breakthrough is found in that I don’t avoid the issues that come, or the pain associated with them.

So are you willing to join me in facing the pain?

 

 

No Promises

No Promises 

We would have been better off hearing early on in our adult lives that there are no promises given in life and work.  Some of you might be thinking I deserve the "duh" award about now.  But isn't it ironic how often we hear and throw around promises.  Often this happens without any thought at all.

What if we heard something like the following:

    "No promises here, just the opportunity to get up after falling down and to try again."

Maybe not the cure-all, but certainly clear and based in reality. 

In America, we're so obsessed with success and winning that we tend to run from the "loss" like the plague.  What exactly do we learn when we succeed?  Much I hope, but if we're honest we just want it to keep going.  In our time many of those successes are hollow and unfulfilling.  So sad, since a fulfilling win can only come after the bitter taste of failure.  

We can't change the past (yesterday), so let's get on with it.  You should not expect that every road leads to the dreams in your head.  Follow your gut and be prepared to course correct.  So many give up because they wanted life just as they desired.  They fail to realize that it takes a lot of pain and disappointment to birth a dream come true.  Eyes wide open here, ladies and gentlemen.

The following is a list of promises I've been willing to put all of myself into.  But first understand, I made a decision some time ago that I would allow myself to be vulnerable and accept the risk inherent.  Vulnerability and risk come together to open the door to happiness.  Even with that, I've been hurt in all of these areas.

  1. The type of promises given to me by God.
  2. The marriage promise from my wife.
  3. The promises from friends like Rick, Marc, Terry, Steve, Jim, and Robert.
  4. Generally promises that come from people I meet for the first time, but I always manage those with verification in-mind.
  5. The type that come from my children.  Verification is important here, but more importantly, they need to understand that I believe in them.

Seth Godin on Risk and Failure

  

This interview with Seth Godin will encourage you to try and fail. 

Are you in a workplace where taking a risk and failing are frowned upon?  Do you frown upon it yourself?  Why not begin a small experiment today with risk and failure?  It could liberate you.

In the interview Seth gives some good examples of what a small experiment might look like.  The following are my suggestions:

  • Interact with a client in a different way.  Make a surprise visit to their office and engage with the receptionist and no one else.
  • Sign up for a cooking class, even if you see yourself as a lousy cook.
  • Try something that your kids are good at, but you're not.
  • Suggest a unique place for a work retreat.  Like this spot.
  • Introduce yourself to someone you've never met at work, at school or in your neighborhood.

 

The Work of Well-Being

The work of well-being is all about taking control.

We here so much about balancing life and work in our world today.  It’s really more about taking control of what we’ve been given-life.  You can’t take control of your life, and your well-being, until you see your life as the center. The center is the place where everything begins.

Most people want a sense that they are doing the right things. They aspire to have a good life, but unfortunately some areas of life live to corrupt our best intentions. Whether it’s work, relationships or some other area, we sometimes feel one step away from being undone.  How about you? With all the advances in technology and education many felt it would improve our state, beyond a tablet computer.  The puzzling question is; where’s the advancement for managing our lives? Where’s the cure for feeling overwhelmed?

The answer has been with us all along.

Life is a gift. I certainly believe life is a precious gift given from above.  I also believe that gift implies a sense of responsibility and management.  I don’t know anyone who would verbally endorse an approach where life just unfolds on its own.  Deep down we know that life is tough and it requires work.  Unfortunately, we have a modern world that has sold us a bill of goods.  The one that says we can ignore well-being or mask our issues with money and/or medication.  How powerful would it be if we changed the paradigm?

Seeing value in the small. There’s no better a mindset than embracing small steps, small goals and the results that follow. If you start small with changing a certain area of life, you will start to see your paradigm shift.  Think of it as racking up small and quantifiable victories. Happiness and contentment follow the person who is willing to do this kind of work.  As you slowly embrace with commitment and urgency, the outlook changes.

Ignore all the haters. I read once where the original CEO of Cadillac believed insults and criticisms were a signs that the organization was onto something great. The fair warning is found in you not listening to the naysayers and the persuasive lips of chatter.  Specifically, those that try to convince you that ignorance is bliss or that someone else is responsible for your well-being.  Be careful here.  Many a man and woman have started off well only to be derailed by their own temptations and deceptions.

If you truly want a great life, then take your well-being and own it. It will require hard work, but you won’t regret it.

Eric Pennington is the founder of Epic Living, LLC. He is the author of Waking Up in Corporate America and the newly released book The Well-Being Guide: Making the Most of Life and Work. The book is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and select book sellers.