The above is a wonderful talk from Jason Fried. He makes numerous points, with suggestions on how to make it better, about the ironies that are found in the office. Can you relate?
No More Taking Things for Granted
A re-post and reminder.
September 11 is only a couple of days away. For those living in America (and beyond), it is a sacred day. As well it should be.
I remember much about that day 10 years ago. It still shapes much of my thinking as a context for the life I lead now. The events left me exposed. In the sense that I was trying to find my way with the wrong compass.
I heard the stories of mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters who would never come home again. I felt sad. But there I was, taking for granted so much in my life. I was a little lost and wandering what my role (the real one) was to play. It took some years after 9/11 to get to the following place:
I am no longer in the business of taking things for granted.
At some point events converged and I began to see my life as a whole and not just parts. And again, it took me time to understand it and live it. Twists in the road made for much sickness. It was a process that I worked (still do) and committed to. I didn’t want to be that person who woke one day to find he’d never really lived.
An odd thing occurred last week at a talk I attended. I was asked what my greatest fear was. The answer:
Not doing meaningful work, paid or otherwise.
For me it was a gut check on what I believe, what I value and whether I was willing to see my mission through until the end. I know this post won’t bring anyone back or heal a broken heart, but it’s worth noting I am no longer in the business of taking things for granted. Maybe that’s the best tribute I can give.
5 Questions with Carl Reid, Author of 10 Powerful Networking Tips of Influential People
Had the pleasure recently to interview Carl E. Reid about his book, 10 Powerful Networking Secrets of Influential People. The book gives some insightful tips on networking, and leaves you with ideas you can implement today. I really appreciate Carl’s heart.
In the book you re-tell a story about your wife and a $700 phone bill. Why was that story important then, and still is today?
High tech is no substitute for HIGH PERSONAL TOUCH. Using the phone to stay in touch with people in your network, especially 5 star connections, is the next best thing to “in person” meet-ups. In the mid 1990’s telephone companies were charging per minute rates. My wife was livid every time I paid a $700 to $800 monthly telephone bill. After a couple of years she once commented “you’re always calling people, but very few call you. When they call, they usually want something”. The jaw dropping look on her face was priceless when I responded with “honey, if anything ever happens to me you can call anyone in my contact database and they will help you, without hesitation”. I never again heard another word from my wife about the telephone bill. Pinging people via a telephone conversation or even leaving a voice mail is a personal high touch way of closing the distance gap, no matter where a person lives around the world. It makes for warmer, trusted relationships.
The process you advocate is very organized. What benefits would someone gain by being organized?
Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg said it best “Success is when opportunity meets the prepared mind”. To achieve any worthwhile personal or business endeavor, nimble planning is required. Opportunities can be created by a definite plan of action with completion dates and enough flexibility for unexpected situations. Networking requires organization with scheduling events, reaching potential connections, follow up and most importantly you have to nurture relationships regularly.
What are your thoughts on the current state of networking-on-line and off?
Trusted business associate and author of book “Win The Race For 21st Century Jobs“, Rod Colon says “networking is to a business career what oxygen is to life. You won’t last long without either one”. More than any other time in history, networking in the 21st century plays a vital role for accomplishing personal and business goals. Most people misunderstand networking as being performed only when you need something, not as life time continuous process. Whether networking on-line via social networks on the Internet or meeting people in person (off-line), the trip wire is only focusing on what you want to get out of the relationship. Zig Ziglar says it best “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”. When meeting people on-line or off-line the most powerful networking statement anyone can say is “How can I help you?”.
Chapter 10 of the book discusses the “Rainmaker.” How important is it for an individual to become a rainmaker?
The truth is anyone has the potential be a Rainmaker. More salary income increases, recognition promotions, job security and business opportunities are bestowed on Rainmakers, before other employees or business owners. Everyone is expendable at work. Being a Rainmaker creates the very cool perception of you being INDISPENSABLE in the minds of those key decision makers. When I was consulting at a high profile bank, I was still left standing when the layoff axe swung at 2,000 employees and other consultants around me. When I asked the director what kept me from getting axed, he said “you provide value beyond what we hired you for and as I’ve seen your networking in action, I think you have people in your network I might need if I get laid off.” The hallowed title of “Rainmaker” is not always bestowed upon the swiftest, fastest, smartest or toughest.
Do you have any stories of networking gone wrong?
During a conversation, just beyond a brief introduction at a networking event, this person says to me “I just realized you can’t help me. Would you mind if I moved on to meet other people?” Without blinking, I say “No problem. Great talking with you.” As he turned away from me, I burst out laughing. He looks back in my direction with a puzzled look and asks me “what is so funny?” In “cool hand Luke” style I say “You’re right, I can’t help you. But I just thought of 3 people in my network who might may be able to help you or be interested in your service.” Once he lifted his jaw off the floor, he tries to back pedal to justify his previous statement. It was so obvious he wanted the names of those people I knew. I cut him off and said “I’m sorry, I have to meet some other people who might need my help”. I turned abruptly and left him standing there. The moral of the story is EVERYONE can potentially be gateway to other people. The pizza delivery person, the UPS guy, a per chance meeting in Walmart, your child’s tutor or the office janitor may provide gateway connections to other people just as easily as those people in your immediate circle. Never discount the value of anyone you meet.
![Carl_E._Reid_Blue_Sports_Coat_Picture[1]](http://www.epicliving.com/epic/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Carl_E._Reid_Blue_Sports_Coat_Picture1.jpg)
With corporate travels from the mail room to the board room, Carl E. Reid knows what it takes to be successful. An early adopter of Intrapreneur career management, Carl has over 46 years of business experience, including 32 years as a technology expert, 22 years as a business career coach and 25 years as a successful entrepreneur. Carl has been a professional blogger and social media strategist since 2004. In addition to being a sought after speaker and published author, Mr. Reid has coached and inspired hundreds of people to land jobs and start successful businesses. Carl is Executive Director for Empowering Today’s Professionals, career management educational non-profit. Working with over 50 companies in diverse industries during a 46 year business career, some of Carl’s clients include IBM(technology consulting), JP Morgan Chase (global banking), OXYGEN (TV/media), Sotheby’s (auction), New York City Health & Hospitals, Shearman & Sterling (legal), McGraw Hill (publishing), Moët Hennessy – LVMH, Insurance Services Office.
To get a copy of 10 Powerful Networking Secrets of Influential People visit www.10NetworkingSecrets.com – Contact Carl via email IGetSmart@SavvyIntrapreneur.com
Don’t Trust The Beast
A re-post from 2010.
You coexist with your business. It should not be your friend. It is a beast and not meant to be trusted. It demands much, but as it is with a circus lion, a chair and whip are in order. To think of that animal in any other light only invites ruin.
Sadly, many entrepreneurs, corporate slaves and others have wrapped their identities around the beast. It is a sad love affair. Just like the lover who swears this is the last one of many, a broken heart sits in waiting. By the way, you can know how tightly you’re wrapped by how much you think about the beast. The more you think, the tighter the wrap.
This post is not meant to talk you out of your business pursuits. As a matter of fact, it can be a fantastic tool for growth. The issue is one of ownership, not should I or shouldn’t I pursue a business idea/career.
Here are some solutions to the problem(s):
- Buy yourself a chair and whip. It might be in the form of cutting back on your hours or developing a fitness/exercise program. If you’re wondering what those two have to do with managing your business, look at the statistics around those who work long hours and don’t pay attention to their health.
- Look failure in the face and don’t back down.
- Start working smarter and stop trying to do everything. Rugged individualism may sound great in a speech, but it’s highly overrated.
- Re-evaluate your needs. In America two-thirds of the economy is based on consumption. Nothing wrong with consumption, but do you really need…
- Prepare for battle. The beast will not like you taking back control. This one is important. If you’re not careful you might give up, but don’t.
Don’t Let Career Snuff Out Your Dreams
Dreams are fragile things. They’re given as a spark, designed to turn into a flame. That flame should only go out if used to ignite the new dream.
That’s why I don’t want you to let career snuff out your dreams.
No surprise, but keeping our dreams alive is very hard work. More and more hard work is not esteemed. We’ve been programmed (deceived) to believe there’s an easier pathway. The reality remains, keeping dreams alive requires hard work. It’s worth all you have.
I see our dreams as brushstrokes on the canvas of our lives. We were made to dream.
The most insidious enemy of our dreams is career. Career is the ring, the untamed beast, the riptide. It can be mastered when one orders their lives. It be made to be slave if you have the courage to be who you are. If not, it will seek to be the dominate force in your life. I’ve been fighting for over ten years.
Here’s why:
- I want to make God smile
- I want my family to have a legacy rooted in the power of dreams
- I know the BS our society spews, is just that, BS. Didn’t always see that, but now I do
- It makes choosing happiness worthwhile
- Dreams are key ingredients in destiny
What are you doing with your dreams?
Working Through the Insecurities
This is a re-post from earlier this year. It was timely for me, maybe for you too.
If you’re a man or woman who sees vulnerability as a weakness, this post might not be for you. I still hope you’ll stick around as we work through the insecurities.
Insecurities are like demons or monsters that play the role of human disrupters. These creatures are always lurking in the shadows waiting for just the right moment to remind you and I of:
- How we failed
- How our work is not that great
- How much smarter the guy or gal next to us is
- How we’ll never be picked to play a major role
- How we are not worth the love we long for
Now remember, this is a You and I post. We’re traveling together on this war-torn road. Scars and such are a given here.
In the arena of life, insecurities have most in an iron grip. They cast you in iron and demand you become a slave. Some are by design, some by accident. You don’t need to look any further than how medicated western culture is, and the eastern culture is heading there as well. Our relationships suffer and we can’t seem to sustain connection.We use what is found under the sun to distract us from looking at ourselves soberly. It’s an evil thing, our insecurities. I hate to admit it, you hate to admit it, but we are our own worst enemy.
I’m someone who has identified and dealt with most of my insecurities. I didn’t do this alone. I’ve had multiple advisors over the years to help. I’m blessed by their willingness to stick with me through my insecurities. Whether it was my bravado hiding my fear of what people thought of me, or my doubts regarding the quality of my work. They stayed beside me, despite the ugliness. This is love. My friends, most don’t stay. It can be messy, it can be hard work, and it can be embarrassing. Do you have people who will stick with you?
I figure I owe you the ugly side now. We’re a mess, and all of the pop-humanist thought isn’t going to change that. Billions on education, health, leadership, technology, and we’re still slipping away. So many hiding places, so little time. These places provide an escape from our insecurities. Take the man or woman who thinks a promotion or a relationship will fix what is haunting inside. There’s always another rung to climb, a person to possess. Eventually, we only have so many escapes before we get caught. Living under the sun is a rather subtle addiction. You just kind of do it.
So who’s going to clean up the mess?
I’m in this for the few (however many that may be) who decided not to ignore. If you count yourself in that group today, listen in and reach out to me.
New Book Excerpt
I’ve been hard at work on the next book and waned to share an excerpt. Enjoy!
Day 2
Began this day rushing out to make a 7:00 AM meeting. I made two major errors in that process. The first, was not checking my blood sugar before heading out. Damn! The second was playing a subtle game of chicken on the ride into downtown. The driver in the left lane was traveling at a mind numbingly slow pace. I entered the right lane to pass and the driver decided to accelerate, knowing I had a car in front of me. My speed did what was needed. Stupid on my part, for sure.
As I make my way down the road, I regret. Going over it in my mind again and again, I realize what I could have lost. As I get closer to the appointment, I reset with 3 deep breaths and move to what my client will need.
We begin our session and the energy comes. I wonder if John knows what I take away from our sessions. As his coach, I give him what he needs. I’m struck by the learning and inspiration I gain.
Our conversation closes on the subject of mindfulness. This is an area we’ve placed a lot of focus on. I tell him about a friend of mind, who happens to be named John, who exclaimed that we have to turn the volume down in our heads, in order to hear God’s voice. He offers an analogy (one that helps him) around a group of divers in the Atlantic. These divers were on a mission to find a sunken German U-Boat. In the area they were in, visibility was lacking, and made worse if you stirred up something 200 feet below. If the latter happened, it was vital to be still. Did you get that, be still. Being still allowed the elements to settle and allow visibility to return. We both agreed that’s what mindfulness does for us, if we let it. As we walk back to our cars, I am energized.
Back at my home office, I begin the follow up communications relating to my dual entrepreneur life. This day, I’m not super happy about that. I pray for remembrance of the things I read in my bible earlier. Real life, real living, epic living, and above all thankfulness.
Preparing for lunch, I’m pleased that I was able to find organic blueberries. Glad we’re heading into spring and summer. Availably goes with this reality. My yogurt, blueberry, raw nut lunch is complete.
Later in the afternoon I get an email from a participant in a talk who wants to meet and learn more. She seems like an interesting person, so I’ll book something for next week. I also hear from someone that I don’t trust. This individual reminds me of how much harm can be done by those who wear the coat of goodness. I take the high road and don’t burn the bridge.
The mad rush to get my son fed before basketball practice begins. I’m not feeling good about the food choices. I remind myself not to get on a soapbox. The beauty of all of this is having a sit down dinner with Eileen. Unexpected and good for my soul. We spend 45 minutes together and it feels like hours. I am blessed.
Why Women Lead Well
From quite a few years ago.
Some of my best leaders have been women. Many of them gave me something essential to growth-affirmation. Is this a motherly instinct? I can’t say for sure, but it has made a difference in my career path.
The Juggle has a great post (Is it Better When the Boss is a Mom) on the potential benefits of a woman leading the charge. I think a woman being the leader of a group or organization can be an advantage, but whatever the reason I am a better leader because of the influence of these ladies in my life.
Here are some reasons (in addition to affirmation) why women can be wonderful leaders at work and home:
- They seem to understand that life is wide as it is long.
- They have instinct that, as a man, I only wish I had.
- Many women are comfortable in their own skin.
- They often understand the importance of legacy (maybe the motherly thing).
- They know how to walk away.
Here’s to the women who lead and the difference they make.
What Millennials Want
Gave a talk yesterday to a group of mostly millennials. One thing was clear in our interactive experience, what millennials want is:
- Clarity
- Balance
- Epic
I’m sure there’s more to add to my list, but those 3 leaped out to me. I’ve read the data around what millennials want, versus what their parents wanted. It’s rare to see it upfront and close.
On the clarity front, it looks like many are overwhelmed by the pace and choices that make up existence. With so much screaming for attention, it’s not surprising. Keeping in mind that much of what screams is a complete waste of time. We know this in our gut, all the while the tracer bullets continue to fly.
You have to learn the art of saying no.
Balance goes hand in hand with clarity. With many employers demanding more and more, millennials (all of us) are fighting to not lose their lives, as they build a career. There’s a question mark hanging out there. Many are wondering can a career, as defined by the employer, live at peace with a great life.
Choosing a great life is the only way to find balance.
My talk yesterday was about leading an epic life. Some are disturbed by this because they want it and they know in their core it is the way we were meant to be, yet they find mediocrity all around. America has descended into a swamp filled with it. Others want it and are willing to do the work of finding an epic life. I know you see the difference. The choice between the two has always been in hand.
Your epic life was deposited into you in the beginning.
The Who of You
http://youtu.be/MlLWTeApqIM
The above TED Talk got me thinking about many things. David Brooks stirred my soul and provided confirmation of the state of things. The state of who, or what, should be master.
It really is about the who of you.
I stand on the battleground of souls and lives. This was evident to me over 10 years ago, as it is now. As noble as that may echo, it really doesn’t matter, outside of the context of what you want life to be. Many are living under the sun and hope that will produce happiness and contentment. It doesn’t. All of the striving, all of the ignoring, all of the convincing self-talk will never provide lasting results. If it did, we’d have satisfaction. Ever notice how America continues to scream out that you need more education, more career mobility, more recognition, more money?
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
The wizard had a great gig, until Toto got in the way. He had us convinced that we could fool the audience with tricks from a traveling carnival. He told us the curtain was an absolute necessity to keep the audience from discovering what was real. “They will never understand,” he whispered to us in the deep of night. We believed him.
Now, here’s the irony, in my modern culture (an eroding one), most are still trying to conjure a spell or trick. We panically negotiate with the audience. We tell them what they thought was true, was just their imagination. We hope for the miracle of distraction. Maybe they won’t figure out who we really are.
As we face the truth, the deceptive self-talk kicks in:
- “It could be worse, some people don’t have a job.”
- “You tried before, and it didn’t work.”
- “They won’t look at someone, who’s done that.”
- “You need to make sure, you’ve got x number of followers and likes.”
- “No one would think less of you, if you gave up.”
Ten years ago I had an audience that said, “OK, Eric, show us another trick.”
Find the who of you while there’s time.