Author: Eric

The Authentic Self and Why It Matters

A re-post from last year:

Any number of us have attended conferences, embarked on new programs for growth or decided to change something for the better.  On the face of things, all of those choices are good.  But your authentic self is where it all begins.  If you fail to address authenticity, you run a great risk.  No program, plan or event can help you until the authentic is addressed.

Are you still playing someone else's role?

I fully understand the trepidation involved in addressing who you really are (the authentic self).  It conjures up the idea of no secrets, vulnerability and most of all honesty.  This can be daunting and some just run from the proposition of "going there."  But never forget that who you really are is the safest place you could ever be.  I write this from experience.

Here are some things to consider as you turn to who you really are:

  • If you've been in the habit of lying to your self, make a decision to stop.  Self-honesty is essential in finding the authentic self.
  • Are your friends situational?  Sever the ties.  Situational friends need sunny days, material success and the like to stick with you.
  • Join my tribe at Epic Living (located on Facebook).
  • Read Simon Sinek's book, Start with Why.
  • Have or create a short list of what makes you come alive.

Leadership Starts with the Heart

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We've all encountered organizations who have systems that seem to work smoothly. For example, in banking, Chase will probably get 99% of their transactions right today. Accenture has a process that will react when a company puts out an RFP. But as great as their processes may be, if the leaders inside lack heart, there is something fundamentally wrong.

Leadership starts with the heart. Indeed, indeed.

Great organizations (small or large) begin from the heart. Their business models are full of art. That kind of art that solved a problem, made a customer smile or inspired a child to dream. No guarantees of success I know, and certainly you've got to have a business model that can make/raise money. But if you listen to music don't you want the melody along with the rhythm? If the organization only has one side of the equation and not both, then you're looking at a hollow endeavor.

The great warning goes out to organizations that abandon the heart, thinking the head can do it all. 

Book Review of Never Apply for a Job Again

I recently read a new book by Darrell Gurrey titled Never Apply for a Job Again. I really enjoyed the content and the pace of the book. Mr. Gurney makes very pracitical points and leads the reader down a road that is very understandable. The only challenging part of the book is it will challenge many preconceived notions that job-seekers often have.

The following are some things I think readers will find value in from the book:

  1. Mr. Gurney makes it clear how out-of-sync the process of finding a job is with the way people really get hired.
  2. The book is a full of ideas that most will find pracitcal and understandable.
  3. If you've always looked for a job via online job boards or applying at a specific company's website, you'll get an alternative approach in the book that works.
  4. There is a strong emphasis on networking-the right kind.
  5. Mr. Guernney has a backgrond that is based in experience and theory. This is a huge plus.

The book is worth reading. I would even recommend it for those not looking for an opportuntiy, it might sharpen what has become dull.

The End of the Rainbow

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The end of the rainbow is purported to be a really cool place. You know, the pot of gold and all that comes with it. In the U.S. this could be retirement, a relationship, the first big pay-day, or a position/title. Ironic how those things are often the objects of our desire.The problem lies in the lies of chasing down a rainbow to get to something that was intended to only be a by-product. In other words, I get a great relationship when I invest myself in the work of being in a relationship.

I know I'm not alone in feeling like time moves at a pace that only an olympic sprinter could relate to. I'm prone to the minor key, so a little sadness follows me in this reality. But I've discovered something important.

The end of the rainbow is not the point.

What matters is what happens between the beginning of the rainbow and the end. Any other approach will lead you to a disappointing place. The pot of gold is found in the in-between. And, yes, I know you've heard this before. But I'm a living example of the truth found in a somewhat worn idea.

Here's a warning I hope you'll take seriously. Remember what I said above about the lies? Many miss this on multiple fronts, but if you're not careful you'll blindly follow the dogma and lies of a world that's lost its mind. Don't let them be an investor in your own personal prison.

Adult Bullying Creates Child Bullying

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Adult bullying is not a place I've gone to very often-directly anyway. I usually leave that to Asher Adelman over at eBoss Watch. He's good at looking at bullying in the work place. However, this story from a couple of days ago got me thinking. As tragic as that story was and is, you can't help but think about the things children are doing these days.

My conclusion on the subject of bullying is; adult bullying creates child bullying.

Modeling over a consistent period of time is what I'm pointing to.  The influence that comes from our modeling is a guide book for our children. Our children learn and take their cues from our modeling. Since childhood is a significant period of development we are not surprised by this reality. No prescription for perfection here, but if we adults want to seriously impact bullying in our children, then we need to stop bullying too. We adults do the same shit as our children and we know better.

Scary when you think about what our modeling has done to our children.

Time to turn around…

Changing People

I've never been able to change one person in my entire life.

I've been told by men and women greater than me, that trying to change people is a road to futility. You might be able to create conditions where someone might want to change. Life could make an impromptu appearance and crush someone to a point where they see no other way but to change. In the end change resides inside each and every one of us. Inside is the keyword here.

So what's with organizations trying to change people?

Organizations can become enamored with their own marketing and brand appearance, not to mention their profit engine. Just like someone who is told repeatedly how great they are. Here that often enough and some will think greatness is theirs. The next-door neighbor to arrogance is power and both work to will over people. It's really a facade, but these types of groups force and intimidate. Like walking a dog that doesn't want to go, they just pull them anyway and can't see the folly of dragging.

So are you in the business of changing people?

Maybe we'd get more if we just started looking at our people as they truly are and then realign, remove, restructure so that the band is playing together and in-tune. This is a courage-based endeavor that few leaders have a stomach for.

Find the courage.

Gaining Perspective

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Ah, the beauty of gaining perspective. I'm certain if we (including me) took more time to take a step back, our lenses would be clearer. The kind of clarity we long for in the midst of our daily madness.

I have gained much perspective in the these early days of 2012. Ironic, given my kicking and screaming in the last part of 2011. Forced perspective is a good thing too. I now have a peace about not just knowing, but of understanding. This needs to happen in-order to move to behavior change.

The following are some perspectives I've come to lately:

  • Clarity of mind is played before an audience of One. It doesn't matter if nobody else understands. Embrace the clarity and keep moving.
  • Money is important. But treat it as a soulless animal. It can't make anything better, it's just a tool for support and sustainability. 
  • There is no ending until you've breathed your last. Life is a series of chapters. I want my choices to frame a story that will flow into a great legacy, whether I get to see it or not. I feel good about this.
  • I am limited and will never be limitless. I operate under the reality that God is limitless and a bigger Freak than me. This implies that He will ask me to do things that will blow my mind.
  • In certain circumstances, I must stand still in the hurricane. No looking for shelter, no panic, just be there, even when it feels like the end is looking me right in the eye.

Our Children

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I've been thinking a lot about our children lately, specifically my own. I've spent much time wondering what the world will look like when they're (Lord willing) adults and how I can help prepare them.

The following are some thoughts:

  1. I need to pour into them wisdom about handling money and power. Looking around me it's clear this is not taught in the university or the business arena. I think we know what happens when people don't know how to handle these beasts.
  2. I can't depend on the current education system to provide significant support. I often think our education system is teaching in a form appropriate for 30 years ago.
  3. Our government (America in this case) is content to make it difficult (massive debt)for my children to prosper economically. I don't want my government to help my children with their careers, but I do want them to manage with excellence the resources given and to get out of the way.
  4. I need to, on an exhausting and repetitive basis, remind them that they are unique and should live life accordingly.
  5. I need to teach them the value of loving God and loving other people (regardless of who they may be).
  6. I need to model everything I teach every day, every day.
  7. I need to encourage them to be risk-takers.

Letting The Story Unfold

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I am prone to excitement. Give me an idea, a vision or a dream and I'll plug in. I never want to change that about me or lose it in age of skepticism. In the last few months I've started to move to a more patient and steady approach in how I evaluate ideas.

In many ways I would describe it as letting the story unfold.

In the past week I've started to get lift on a few projects and goals. All of these are in process. And the keyword process is important. I have made a conscious decision to let them unfold to a logical conclusion-good or bad. No predictions, just one step at a time.

For you, you might say "duh, Eric." But I am a man who is learning. Learning what is sustainable, learning what is viable and learning what I believe God is pointing to. If you're not careful, you'll miss a key step if the story is not allowed to unfold.

Paying Attention to Your Role

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"All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

                               -William Shakespeare

If Shakespeare was right, and I believe he was, then the implications are vast. Not because it's some kind of complicated riddle. It's really quite simple, and hard. We live in an age where human beings willingly give up their role in the spirit of conforming or just plain fear. In our limited mind we see no other way, so we punt telling ourselves that we could be worse off or we're lucky to have a job. You can fill in many more blanks here. The trading of identity is a no-excuse game. I don't recommend it.

In my last year, I've had some experiments that didn't go as I had hoped. But I am undaunted in playing the role heaven gave me. Sets change, production units revise the scenes, directors are replaced, but I have a part to play. You and I are alike in this.

If your alert and awake, here's what can help you in the art of paying attention to your role:

  1. Faith
  2. Perseverance
  3. Optimism
  4. Vulnerability
  5. Communication