Resolving In Grief
It's been some time, but I felt now would be appropriate. Losing, winning, missing all seem to have their place when a loved one passes. In my case my dad almost two years removed.
I've made some heroic attempts at understanding my relationship with a man named Charles. Not sure I'll ever fully get it, but Sting's song Ghost Story is an ironic portrait of my relationship with my dad. Kismet. I thought I would share here as I make my way through a long journey.
I watch the Western sky
The sun is sinking
The geese are flying South
It sets me thinking
I did not miss you much
I did not suffer
What did not kill me
Just made me tougher
I feel the winter come
His icy sinews
Now in the fire light
The case continues
Another night in court
The same old trial
The same old questions asked
The same denial
The shadows closely run
Like jury members
I look for answers in
The fire's embers
Why was I missing then
That whole December
I give my usual line:
I don't remember
Another winter comes
His icy fingers creep
Into these bones of mine
These memories never sleep
And all these differences
A cloak I borrow
We kept our distances
Why should it follow I must have loved you
What is the force that binds the stars
I wore this mask to hide my scars
What is the power that pulls the tide
I never could find a place to hide
What moves the Earth around the sun
What could I do but run and run and run
Afraid to love, afraid to fail
A mast without a sail
The moon's a fingernail and slowly sinking
Another day begins and now I'm thinking
That this indifference was my invention
When everything I did sought your attention
You were my compass star
You were my measure
You were a pirate's map
A buried treasure
If this was all correct
The last thing I'd expect
The prosecution rests
It's time that I confess: I must have loved you
The Implications Of Food And Cancer
One of the most important posts I've put on my blog in a long time. Please pass this post on. Your life will be impacted.
Why You Need Authentic Passion In Your Career, Your Business And Life
Answer The Why Question
You need to ask the "why question"-sooner rather than later.
Here's why:
- All the success in the world will mean nothing without answering the why question.
- Clients feel uneasy with organizations and individuals who haven't answered the why question.
- Eventually the bloom fades, true beauty is rrevealed when the why question has been answered.
- Truth can be found in those who've answered the why question.
- Your organization will change the world when it answers the the why question.
- Answering the why question creates the right type of urgency.
- You'll find out if you're really an authentic leader, when you answer the why question.
What’s Most Important
The Case For Moving On To Breakthroughs
Are you stuck?
Are you in pain?
Are you frustrated?
I had a conversation with my chiropractic practitioner (his services are a part of my overall health plan) a couple of weeks ago that really stuck with me. If you're ever in my neck of the woods you should pay him a visit.
We got to talking about people in pain and the refusal to move on to healing/progress. His point was something like this:
You're in pain now and getting to your breakthrough means pain too. Sadly, most people are comfortable with the existing pain/state. This comfort paralyzes them from experiencing the pain associated with breakthroughs.
As a guide, I couldn't agree with him more.
Here are some simple acid tests to use as you move from talking about finding a breakthrough to acting on the solutions/cures:
- Make sure the person or organization offering you a solution is interested in you first and not what's in you bank account. I'm not saying that your solutions/cures should be free, I'm just talking about the order of things. If you're not sure what questions are best for finding out the motivation behind the marketing, then send me an email or comment through this post.
- Get settled about the pain that will be associated with moving on to breakthrough. Do this in front of a mirror-real or imagined.
- Remember, every breakthrough should lead to a new life habit. Life habits should stick.
Twisting Fate
I can't remember exactly how many times Thomas Edison failed as he tried to bring his light bulb idea to life. Was it a hundred failed experiments? Maybe it was a thousand. Regardless, he failed multiple times.
This post really isn't about overcoming failure, though that could be helpful. I really want to explore the mindset of having a willingness to stumble, a willingness to be the fool, the willingness to launch something most in the herd don't see nor understand.
I think we're way to willing to accept dime-store imitations (you fill in the blank here) when it comes to creative and inspiring leaders. And by the way, creative and inspiring leaders are the types of leaders with substance and reality backing them up. I'm not referring to a leader of a three-ring-circus or some executive who pulls out talking points from 5 years ago.
I'm not sure we recognize authentic when we see it.
Preserving your rep. at the expense of something given to you by heaven is foolish. Your mortgage, 401K, bonuses or a nice fat promotion won't be there for you in the long run. Those are temporary states that can change in a moment. We know this to be true, whether we're willing to admit it or not.
Could it be that Edison was not so special? What if everyone was supposed to pursue an end, even if it meant repeated failure? What separated Edison from his herd was his willingness to take the step of twisting fate even if he didn't know where it would ultimately lead. I define twisting fate as someone who acts on faith, realizing that the final product/outcome will resemble a mosaic more than a picture-perfect portrait.
This is hard work that many turn away from.
Yesterday Follows, As I Learn
Leadership means everything…ask Churchill, King, Jr., Jobs, Graham, Teresa.
I usually write with strong opinion and certainty. Not wavering here, but I hope those leaders mentioned would agree that yesterday's lessons only took root when they "learned." And isn't learning a vital part of influence?
It's a mysterious thing walking into a future. We need yesterday to be a follower. We need yesterday to be the threads of a tapestry called life.
If it doesn't matter, then why the smile and the pursuit. Certainly, we were made for more. Now I know that everything does matter…every dance, every embrace, every sip, every beautiful melody.
Bear with me as I try to understand what I have become.
"I'm crossing that bridge with lessons I've learned."
– Seal
The Roots Of Greatness
How well do you execute on the following:
- Returning the client's call-same day.
- Slowing down to admire a fresh snowfall or beautiful sunrise.
- Seeing people as a source of connection.
- Trusting those who work for and with you (this is a big one for those "in-charge".)
- Involving yourself in something bigger than yourself.
The answers to the above will reveal two things:
Your true values (the type you would deny or hide)
Opportunities for growth
I don't recommend seeking greatness if your motives are suspect. But if you are aligned with motivations around changing the world, it can be a good thing…just make sure you have people around you that aren't impressed-by you. I firmly believe that most people want to leave a mark before the clock runs out.
In the end, the roots of greatness are nestled in doing the small well. It's the stuff of obscurity, humility and authentic love/care. If those situations disappoint, you may have issues with self-worth or identity. Needing the applause of others is a dead-end road. Eventually, the "crowd" moves onto another show. Believe me, I know.
So start working on doing the small well. Slow down, be ok with coming in second, let someone else have the last piece of cake (figuratively speaking), find someone to love/care for.
Here's the secret:
If you won't do the small things well, you'll never be able to do the great things well.