Category: Wellbeing

15,492 Days

Tea Brewing

Updated post from the spring of 2008.

Sometimes the calculator can be your best friend.  Today I decided to do an exercise long overdue.

I added up the sum of my days on this planet we call earth.  That number turned out to be 15,492 days.  Birth, school yard wonder, working for a living, falling in love, and being found by the vision.  What a statement in a time when we have little time to stop and think.

The numbering of your days is important.  The following are my reasons for embracing the miracle and exercise:

  1. Numbering your days sobers you.  We can get drunk on success, materials and prestige
  2. In the words of a great songwriter; “we’re only immortal for a limited time“
  3. Creates urgency to do and to dream
  4. Settles you down from worrying about things you’ve got no control over
  5. Makes you realize that safety is a myth.  God wired us for risk and adventure
  6. Helps you avoid regrets
  7. Kills the counter-genuine cells.  Screams the importance of keeping things real
  8. Makes you realize your terminal and that you don’t have to wait for a diagnosis
  9. Builds courage
  10. Makes every smell, taste and delight precious.  Sort of like a 2000 Barolo or the voice of Michael Franks

Number your days, because they’re numbering you.

What a Father Leaves Behind

Legacy is defined by what I leave behind. For the purposes of this post, what I leave behind as a father. A friend told a few weeks back that he could see my legacy through my work (writing, engagements, etc.). Funny how you sometimes don’t think about those types of things when you’re in the midst. It’s still vitally important, regardless.

My friend also recognized that all people have a legacy. He even believes more world problems would be solved if more understood the implications of their legacy. I agree and way too many don’t even consider it.

I want to leave the following behind for my kids:

  1. A sense that I understand the “fierce urgency of now.” The idea that now matters, problems matter, the fight matters.
  2. Love until it hurts. Much of life will be measured by this.
  3. There’s nothing wrong with making a mistake or failing. Go ahead and risk being laughed at.
  4. Find out what God made you to do. This is destiny and it’s worth the pursuit.
  5. People matter and they deserve your respect.
  6. Position yourself for good luck.
  7. Never let the child in you die.
  8. I love their mother, in my words and my actions.
  9. You must always speak up when evil seeks to silence.
  10. Mindfulness opens the door to loving God.

I’m sure there are more things I want them catch, and not catch. The list represents the lens I see through today.

Waiting For the End to Begin

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Saw a young lady yesterday who has multiple myeloma. She is young. I found out about her condition a few months ago, but hadn’t talked to her since the diagnosis. I listened a lot. She spoke much about the importance of prayers, doing things to get through chemo, and doing things that always seemed ok to put off. No time to take for granted now. I was happy to sense that from her.

In my interaction I thought about how we modern men and women often wait until the end, before we start a beginning. It seems like the word late has vanished from our vocabulary. I won’t even go to the words too late. I guess when you feel invincible, time is always on your side.

You do realize we’re all terminal.

I don’t dance with any partner other than life. It feels right and natural to do this. So much of what we do should be about holding on loosely and letting go. We don’t own anything anyway. Sure it feels strange in the beginning and many will think you’ve lost your mind, but it’s what fits. No career, no amount money, no relationship, and no amount of notoriety will be able to substitute. No use in settling for the substitute.

I hope that young lady will be counted as a survivor one day. I also hope that her new beginnings will stick. This is a choice after all, to live over the sun.

10 Reasons I Practice Yoga

Yoga. There are so many benefits in practicing yoga, I could stop here and let you do your own research. But I won’t do that because I want to give you some insight into my experiences with yoga. Here are some random thoughts:

  • Yoga has improved my blood pressure
  • Yoga has help center me
  • Yoga has sharpened my focus on the personhood of God
  • Yoga has built my strength and flexibility
  • Yoga has quieted my obsessive mind
  • Yoga has helped my overall wellbeing
  • Yoga has played a major role in my epic living
  • Yoga has challenged me mentally, physically and spiritually
  • Yoga has helped me see the importance of nutrition
  • Yoga has become a habit

I am no where close to being a master of this art. I am, however evidence of the power that comes from practicing yoga. Talk to your doctor about the risks and rewards, then start slow.

The Longing for More

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I wrote a post a few weeks back and it reflects a significant shift for me. I have a clarity that, quite frankly, has eluded me for some time. Much that hasn’t made sense, does in the current frame. I feel an elation and clarity  that’s pitch perfect.

Take a look at the following lyrics to a familiar song:

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high there’s a land I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then oh why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow why oh why can’t I?

Those lyrics used to confound me. I now get what the lyricist was trying to communicate. Obviously, I can’t know for sure, so leave me a little latitude. The lyrics communicate the longing, found in most people I know and have met. Some would say it’s a longing felt by the majority of people around the globe. A longing to know and believe that there is something more to life than what we find in the daily living under the sun.

There was a time many years ago where I was arrogant enough to believe that I could speak to certain areas of life without having the experience. I relied on my head and book knowledge to make my conclusions. I discovered the heart doesn’t really make a true appearance until it is broken. My broken heart, in the area of meaning, loss, empathy, and much more, brought a level of understanding that only those experiences could produce. Now I know about the longing.

I am humbled.

I see modern men and women pursuing much on this planet and inside of them is eternity. Some are drawn and some feel driven mad. Either way, there is something more, there is epic living. I’ve spent more than 7 years living what was appointed for me. My appointments were out in front. for a purpose. Maybe not unlike Lewis and Clark, who prepared a way.

I expect in the coming days, weeks and months to introduce tangible experiences for you and I to engage in a deeper way. We’ll start slow, experiment a little and find some openings to live over the sun.

The Changing Face of Work

In December of last year I caught this article on creativity. Specifically, how creativity is viewed in the work place. I found it rather ironic because of the changing face of work today. In a work world where so much is being turned upside-down, you’d think the creative would be more valued. I carry a bias toward the creative. I belong to that tribe, with great energy and vibe.

Between coaching clients, conversations with decision makers (small and large companies) and the written word, I get a strong sense of how work is changing. The following is not based in theory, and gives a sense of what is here and what’s to come:

  • Employees will soon (1-3 years for the individual and the mid-market) be buying their own health insurance. The employer will contribute an annual dollar amount, but the buying part will be up to you
  • Engagement in the work place will continue to drop until workers feel they have an equal say in what’s going to happen in their specific work function. The millennials are the catalyst here
  • Fear will be a driver of innovation
  • Knowledge transfer is a bigger deal than many think
  • People who are looking for a job should pay attention to disruptive technology. It will either eliminate your job or create a new one. This is good advice for the employed as well
  • For obvious reasons people will need, and maybe forced, to truly manage their lives with an “on-purpose” approach

The bullets above are sobering. Don’t lose you soul navigating the waters.

All or Nothing

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(photo courtesy of fitnessblackbook.com)

Typically, when you read the words all or nothing, thoughts of bravado and persistence come to mind. I would agree with that. All or nothing has a clear ring of commitment. Who wouldn’t be for that. In my case, the all or nothing thing has been a blessing and a curse. More than a few times in my journey I should have accepted half, instead of holding out for the all. I pray and work diligently to stay on the blessing side for obvious reasons.

The tricky part is found in the riddle life can be. Often our lives are not big moments where we stare down the big obstacle. Most of life is found in the small and the daily. Maybe the film industry has sucked us in. Too many epic stories of heroics and near-calamity events.

When you look around, where are the greatest challenges? I suspect they can be found here:

  • Relationships in the personal and business
  • Negative thinking
  • Deep insecurities
  • Fear
  • The longing for love

I could add many more to the above list, and certainly, an all or nothing stand might be needed in some of those. However, it’s the moments of wrestling with, fighting with and embracing with that are where we need more art.

I’m down with the all or nothing of life. I’m even more down with the daily management of the small things that are really quite big too. If we don’t get the small and daily things right, we won’t be ready when an all or nothing stand is required.

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5 Reasons to Be Creative

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I overheard a conversation with an adult family member yesterday. He was lamenting the sad reality of a creative’s existence. You’ve probably heard it before:

“They’re starving, and all artists starve.”

Funny how those who complain about the creative’s plight, often are big admirers of art (life, parenting, music, painting, cinema, etc.). So what gives? Is it really about starving and doing without? Is it really a dance with insanity to do what only seems to make sense to you?

As someone who tried to close and lock the door to my creative wiring, the wiring never goes away. I finally accepted it and learned to celebrate it. That was a crucial awakening.

For those who say retirement, promotions and prestige are the keys to a fulfilling life, that game is already been called.

Here are my 5 reasons to be creative:

  1. The age of the doer is over. Just like many types of change, an age ends before the mass knows and feels it.
  2. You were created to be creative. Not everyone will be a Miles Davis or Daniel Day-Lewis, but everyone has it in them if they are courageous enough to act on it.
  3. Our collective wellbeing is calling out for this-desperately.
  4. The status quo won’t seem so appealing.
  5. Living over the sun will make a lot more sense.

What are some of your reasons for being creative?

Over the Sun

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“Consider for example, and thou wilt find that almost all of the transactions in the time of Vespasian differed little from those of the present day. Thou there findest marrying and giving in marriage, educating children, sickness, death, war, joyous holidays, traffic, agriculture, flatterers, insolent pride, suspicions, laying of plots, longing for the death of others, newsmongers, lovers, misers, men canvassing for the consulship and for the kingdom;—yet all these passed away, and are nowhere.” – Marcus Aurrelius

I’ve spent a good deal of my life operating under the sun, sometimes even exclusively. Can you relate? The pursuit of things that you think have never been pursued before. When I was thirty-five I believed I ruled the world. I thought I was breaking new ground. The truth was others had been there before me, and there were younger men who were waiting to take my place. It wasn’t until I made my daily focus about living over the sun that true living began. I don’t consider what happened before to be a waste. It was learning and it didn’t happen overnight.

The quote from Marcus Aurellius was written somewhere around 170 AD. Interestingly, many of us are still trying to prove him wrong. See Sheryl Sandberg, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson, Will Smith, and the list goes on. My post is not an indictment of those people or their human achievement. My post is really about achievement, but with a different motivation. It’s the motivation of living over the sun.

I have been greatly influenced by Solomon and the biblical accounts of his life. Most specifically, the accounts found in the Book of Ecclesiastes. You can read his journal there for yourself. On some quiet nights I am haunted by his words found there. Solomon had more and tried more than most men ever will, including the vaunted list above. Yet we (mankind) press on, and on. We’re a culture that believes in the exception. The arrogance that somehow sees itself above history. Solomon was right when he said:

“God has placed in the heart of men, eternity.”

That is what I’m trying to convey here; the idea of eternity, the idea of over the sun. Over the sun takes you to a place where what you do matters here and in eternity. Eternity is in heaven and it is on earth. Eternity will record my apology to my son today. It will go into his future and the future being recorded for my ears ahead. In short, what I do matters. Now, before we get too sentimental, eternity will also record all of my stressing over what I have no control over. Gulp. Fortunately, there is a cross powerful enough to deal with my good, my bad and my ugly.

The following are some reasons why you and I should operate over the sun, along with some reasons why we shouldn’t operate under it. Keep in mind this is about your thinking and your actions. It’s worth considering, even if my words make me a madman in your book.

  • Operating over the sun puts other people first. This is a sweet reality for mankind. I hear a beautiful melody in my ear and head as I write this. Putting people first always results in something that lasts forever.
  • Operating under the sun is all about you. Your career, your money, who you can manipulate, who you can control, and all the other agendas a lifetime can hold.
  • Operating over the sun is where we find sustainable happiness. The actions are those rooted in the simple and the beautiful. It’s a place of where you are surprised by what each day brings, and you don’t mind it, happy or sad.
  • Operating under the sun is about deceit. The implication here is self-deceit. Under the sun we convince ourselves that one more drink, one more deal, or one more relationship will satisfy. And as Marcus and Solomon found, it won’t deliver the promised outcome.
  • Operating over the sun is where we find the personhood of God.