Saying I love you through my labor of love (for my wife). I found inspiration within the snow’s blank canvas, and of course my heart. It took me about 15 minutes.
How much time do you need?
The Tempest Inside
Originally posted back in late 2012, it’s one of my favorites and timely considering this.
Do you have a tempest inside you? I do.
I can’t speak for you, but I’ve learned it’s the catalyst for my creativity. Pulsing and demanding to get out, I don’t fight it any longer. I used to see this, at times, as a curse. A cruel burden to carry in an even crueler world.
The tempest I write about is the one that is a gift. It’s the type that spurs on great pursuits and the impossible. Yes, the impossible stuff. It’s the evidence of authenticity and clarity.
I’ve heard many a great thinker (Seth Godin, Scott Griffin, Sir Richard Branson) who has said that future will not be kind to the doer, but will embrace the creators. Before you think me special, being a creator is in everyone. Don’t wait until your forced into being a creator. By then it may be too late. The issue comes down to the willingness to let this creativity out.
I am a man who allowed the “world” to dictate my view, and it cost me. My story is in process and it is happy. Happy, because I chose to embrace the “tempest” and let it launch my creativity.
The following are some things to consider about the tempest:
- There will be failure. Get over it, embrace it, work through it, but it’s there to refine you and test you. Learn.
- You will be embarrassed. You’ll pronounce your great idea or work and people will cock their head like a dog wondering what are you doing?
- You will feel more things you never thought you would.
- It will teach you to do things that you’d rather avoid. You won’t regret this. The end of the comfort zone.
- It will lead you to the place of dreams and legacy. Most everyone wants this, I would dare say needs this.
What a Father Leaves Behind
Legacy is defined by what I leave behind. For the purposes of this post, what I leave behind as a father. A friend told a few weeks back that he could see my legacy through my work (writing, engagements, etc.). Funny how you sometimes don’t think about those types of things when you’re in the midst. It’s still vitally important, regardless.
My friend also recognized that all people have a legacy. He even believes more world problems would be solved if more understood the implications of their legacy. I agree and way too many don’t even consider it.
I want to leave the following behind for my kids:
- A sense that I understand the “fierce urgency of now.” The idea that now matters, problems matter, the fight matters.
- Love until it hurts. Much of life will be measured by this.
- There’s nothing wrong with making a mistake or failing. Go ahead and risk being laughed at.
- Find out what God made you to do. This is destiny and it’s worth the pursuit.
- People matter and they deserve your respect.
- Position yourself for good luck.
- Never let the child in you die.
- I love their mother, in my words and my actions.
- You must always speak up when evil seeks to silence.
- Mindfulness opens the door to loving God.
I’m sure there are more things I want them catch, and not catch. The list represents the lens I see through today.
Waiting For the End to Begin
Saw a young lady yesterday who has multiple myeloma. She is young. I found out about her condition a few months ago, but hadn’t talked to her since the diagnosis. I listened a lot. She spoke much about the importance of prayers, doing things to get through chemo, and doing things that always seemed ok to put off. No time to take for granted now. I was happy to sense that from her.
In my interaction I thought about how we modern men and women often wait until the end, before we start a beginning. It seems like the word late has vanished from our vocabulary. I won’t even go to the words too late. I guess when you feel invincible, time is always on your side.
You do realize we’re all terminal.
I don’t dance with any partner other than life. It feels right and natural to do this. So much of what we do should be about holding on loosely and letting go. We don’t own anything anyway. Sure it feels strange in the beginning and many will think you’ve lost your mind, but it’s what fits. No career, no amount money, no relationship, and no amount of notoriety will be able to substitute. No use in settling for the substitute.
I hope that young lady will be counted as a survivor one day. I also hope that her new beginnings will stick. This is a choice after all, to live over the sun.
10 Reasons I Practice Yoga
Yoga. There are so many benefits in practicing yoga, I could stop here and let you do your own research. But I won’t do that because I want to give you some insight into my experiences with yoga. Here are some random thoughts:
- Yoga has improved my blood pressure
- Yoga has help center me
- Yoga has sharpened my focus on the personhood of God
- Yoga has built my strength and flexibility
- Yoga has quieted my obsessive mind
- Yoga has helped my overall wellbeing
- Yoga has played a major role in my epic living
- Yoga has challenged me mentally, physically and spiritually
- Yoga has helped me see the importance of nutrition
- Yoga has become a habit
I am no where close to being a master of this art. I am, however evidence of the power that comes from practicing yoga. Talk to your doctor about the risks and rewards, then start slow.
The Longing for More
I wrote a post a few weeks back and it reflects a significant shift for me. I have a clarity that, quite frankly, has eluded me for some time. Much that hasn’t made sense, does in the current frame. I feel an elation and clarity that’s pitch perfect.
Take a look at the following lyrics to a familiar song:
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high there’s a land I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then oh why can’t I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow why oh why can’t I?
Those lyrics used to confound me. I now get what the lyricist was trying to communicate. Obviously, I can’t know for sure, so leave me a little latitude. The lyrics communicate the longing, found in most people I know and have met. Some would say it’s a longing felt by the majority of people around the globe. A longing to know and believe that there is something more to life than what we find in the daily living under the sun.
There was a time many years ago where I was arrogant enough to believe that I could speak to certain areas of life without having the experience. I relied on my head and book knowledge to make my conclusions. I discovered the heart doesn’t really make a true appearance until it is broken. My broken heart, in the area of meaning, loss, empathy, and much more, brought a level of understanding that only those experiences could produce. Now I know about the longing.
I am humbled.
I see modern men and women pursuing much on this planet and inside of them is eternity. Some are drawn and some feel driven mad. Either way, there is something more, there is epic living. I’ve spent more than 7 years living what was appointed for me. My appointments were out in front. for a purpose. Maybe not unlike Lewis and Clark, who prepared a way.
I expect in the coming days, weeks and months to introduce tangible experiences for you and I to engage in a deeper way. We’ll start slow, experiment a little and find some openings to live over the sun.
The Changing Face of Work
In December of last year I caught this article on creativity. Specifically, how creativity is viewed in the work place. I found it rather ironic because of the changing face of work today. In a work world where so much is being turned upside-down, you’d think the creative would be more valued. I carry a bias toward the creative. I belong to that tribe, with great energy and vibe.
Between coaching clients, conversations with decision makers (small and large companies) and the written word, I get a strong sense of how work is changing. The following is not based in theory, and gives a sense of what is here and what’s to come:
- Employees will soon (1-3 years for the individual and the mid-market) be buying their own health insurance. The employer will contribute an annual dollar amount, but the buying part will be up to you
- Engagement in the work place will continue to drop until workers feel they have an equal say in what’s going to happen in their specific work function. The millennials are the catalyst here
- Fear will be a driver of innovation
- Knowledge transfer is a bigger deal than many think
- People who are looking for a job should pay attention to disruptive technology. It will either eliminate your job or create a new one. This is good advice for the employed as well
- For obvious reasons people will need, and maybe forced, to truly manage their lives with an “on-purpose” approach
The bullets above are sobering. Don’t lose you soul navigating the waters.
5 Reasons to Be Creative
I overheard a conversation with an adult family member yesterday. He was lamenting the sad reality of a creative’s existence. You’ve probably heard it before:
“They’re starving, and all artists starve.”
Funny how those who complain about the creative’s plight, often are big admirers of art (life, parenting, music, painting, cinema, etc.). So what gives? Is it really about starving and doing without? Is it really a dance with insanity to do what only seems to make sense to you?
As someone who tried to close and lock the door to my creative wiring, the wiring never goes away. I finally accepted it and learned to celebrate it. That was a crucial awakening.
For those who say retirement, promotions and prestige are the keys to a fulfilling life, that game is already been called.
Here are my 5 reasons to be creative:
- The age of the doer is over. Just like many types of change, an age ends before the mass knows and feels it.
- You were created to be creative. Not everyone will be a Miles Davis or Daniel Day-Lewis, but everyone has it in them if they are courageous enough to act on it.
- Our collective wellbeing is calling out for this-desperately.
- The status quo won’t seem so appealing.
- Living over the sun will make a lot more sense.
What are some of your reasons for being creative?
5 Questions with Dr. Art Markman, Author of Smart Change
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Art Markman regarding his new book Smart Change. Some great insights on how to craft meaningful behavior change.
In the first chapter of your book, you note the success of the Cleveland Clinic in the area of behavior change. What would you say to those C-level executives who’ve tried some concepts to address wellness and behavior change, but have not met with great success?
The central problem with behavior change is that the motivational system is so efficient at promoting the habits people have already developed. The Cleveland Clinic succeeded, because it instituted a comprehensive program of wellness aimed to help people develop healthier daily behaviors. When companies institute wellness plans in a piecemeal fashion, they do not attack all of the pressure points on the motivational system that support change. This approach is likely to fail. The lesson from the Cleveland Clinic is that a comprehensive program that supports healthy living ultimately succeeds and that the initial investment leads to long-term cost savings as well as healthier employees.
Is the brain a friend or foe in our efforts to change our personal behaviors?
The brain is remarkably efficient at promoting the habits you have already developed, particularly when those habits lead to outcomes that feel good in the short-term. As a result, your initial attempts to change your behavior make your brain the enemy. Like a Jujitsu master, though, you have to learn to use the brain’s momentum to your advantage. Change your environment to make desirable behaviors easy, and you will naturally start to act in accordance with your new goals. Spend time with people who engage in the behaviors you want for yourself, and you will start to mimic their patterns. Create specific plans for how you will achieve your long-term goals, and you will begin to create new habits that will ultimately make your brain your friend.
Can changing a person’s environment (work, school, community, etc.) be a catalyst for better behavior?
The environment has several influences on better behavior. When your environment is littered with temptations, then you are prone to return to our past patterns of behavior. So, disrupt your environment in ways that make it impossible for you to engage your previous habits. If you are concerned about the amount of time you spend mindlessly browsing the web, then download a new browser that has an interface that differs from the one you are using. Now, you have the opportunity to rethink your internet behavior until you develop a new set of behaviors. People want to minimize the effort they put into many tasks, so making desirable behaviors easy to perform and undesirable behaviors hard to perform has an immediate influence on the way people act.
Explain the difference between a “process goal” versus an “outcome goal.”
When we set goals, we often focus on outcomes–the things we want to achieve. For example, you might decide this New Years Day that you want to lose 40 pounds. There are two problems wit these kinds of outcome goals. First, they do not tell you how to achieve the goal. Second, once you do achieve the goal, it is not clear what you should do next. Rather than focusing on the desired outcome, create a process for living your life that generates the desired outcome as a side-effect of the way you live your life. Focus on cooking new foods, adding exercise to your daily routine, and crocheting while you watch TV rather than mindlessly eating chips. These process goals can be sustained long after you have reached your desired weight, and so you achieve your desired outcome without making it the focus of your efforts.
What’s been your toughest habit to break and what did you learn from the experience?
I had a few tough habits to break. Until I was in my early 20s, I bit my nails. It was an unattractive habit. It was hard to break, though, because it requires *not* doing something. You cannot create a habit that involves not doing a behavior, and so after a few weeks I would always start biting my nails again. In order to break that habit, I had to figure out when I was actually biting my nails. I discovered that I most of the time when I bit my nails, I was sitting around either reading or watching TV. So, I worked to replace the bad habit with new habits. I started buying a lot of desk toys and playing with them at the times that I would normally bite my nails. Eventually, I replaced the bad habit with these new routines. Of course, now my graduate students make fun of me for playing with a slinky while we are meeting…
Art Markman, Ph.D., is Annabel Irion Worsham Centennial Professor of Psychology and Marketing at the University of Texas at Austin, and director of the Masters Program in the Human Dimensions of Organizations. He received his Sc.B. in Cognitive Science from Brown University and his Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Illinois. He has published over 150 scholarly works on topics in higher-level thinking, including the effects of motivation on learning and performance, analogical reasoning, categorization, decision making and creativity. He is currently executive editor of the journal Cognitive Science and a member of the editorial board of Cognitive Psychology. His previous book, Smart Thinking (Perigee Books) was a bestseller. Art is co-host of a new radio show Two Guys on Your Head produced by KUT radio in Austin. He is on the advisory boards of the Dr. Phil Show and Dr. Oz Show.
The Giving Up Thing
Wrote this back in 2011. I was in the garden this past week and it dawned on me how I’ve been to this place and back, and back again. Hope you get some inspiration here. Cheers!
Picture this, you’re moving through life wondering where you fit in. You’ve played many roles. You’ve tried finding happiness in what everyone says you should be happy with. But, alas, you’re still looking. Every day you’re looking and the “giving up thing” rears its head (ugly or beautiful).
This is tough and lonely work.
If we’re honest, we’d admit that the purpose/mission has at one time or another whispered to us. Trouble is we’re not a very honest culture. The art of lying to oneself is very much the norm. And so it goes, the whisper. The proverbial, “this is what makes me come alive” or “I belong in this space.” Do you listen or try to ignore? So now you know. It’s calling you and maybe you’re one of the few that listens. Your first step out into the great unknown is a dip (thank you Seth Godin). Maybe it’s skepticism, maybe it’s envy or maybe it’s flat out fear on your part. Before long you begin to wonder what you’ve done and is it too late to turn back. Turning back always has your number on speed-dial.
There is a reason Cortez burned the ships in the harbour.
Let me be clear, sometimes you should give up. I think we know when that is. The time to give up is not when you’re being refined by the crucible of exhaustion and doubt. And believe me, that’s when many do give up. I’ve always believed that no one can truly play a part in changing the world until they have felt pain and loss. By the way, that’s what everyone else has experienced. And is experiencing in some way. The audience is looking for someone who is unwavering in integrity and has a passion to solve the problems.
Here are some observations on combating the desire to give up when you shouldn’t:
- As mentioned earlier, your exhaustion and doubt may be related to the crucible.
- Being who you really are is Tough Work. Don’t buy the lie of ease and comfort.
- Going back is often the first step to your own eulogy.
- Don’t confuse the need for reinvention of your work versus turning the lights out. Your work is your work, know what it is.
- Be allegiant to your life. This brings clarity, you’ll need this when the difficult times come.