Tag: epic living

Learning How to Live

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We live in a world of skills. Skills are endorsed, encouraged and praised. What's not to like?

One thing.

Ever notice how learning how to live is a forgotten skill? Learning how to live can be equated to terms like:

From my expereince, I didn't have many people in my life who Deliberately sought to advise me on how to live life effectively. Besides my mom, a teacher here and there, or a book selected by random, it seemed like the real emphasis was on the other types of skills. Like:

  • Managment Training
  • Reading, Writing and Arithmatic
  • Consultative Selling
  • Business
  • Communication

This post is not an indictment of skills development inside of the organization. It is the indictment of leaving life skills in the dust for the sake of an imaginary outcome (retirement, promotion, economic status) that will never satisfy. Running into the same walls again and again, won't make things as good as they should be. And don't be surprised when you see someone making major dollars with the social skills of a baboon. As I'm sure you know, many of our organizational (work, family, school, etc.) problems can be traced to a lack of life skills development. It truly is the 800 pound gorilla in the corner. If you or your organization flipped the priority and began to make "life" number 1, I think we'd see the needle move.

Let's face a fact that we all know deep down inside; if leaning how to live is essential to our well-being, then we best place it at that level. Anything short of this will lead to a major helping of regret-lifetime. 

7 Things Your Manager Wants You To Know

Corporate maze 

I spoke with a friend yesterday about the role of her manager in her job.  He's an advocate for her and a buffer.  The buffer part was what struck me.  He's a buffer between my friend and senior management.  Sadly, senior management in this organization is living in an alternative reality, so they need someone who is deft at translating this reality into real world application.  This happens a lot in the corporate world.

This post is not a defense of the middle-manager, nor is it a rant about how bad they sometimes can be.  In the spirit of balance I want you to consider 7 things your manager wants you to know:

  1. Your manager is afraid.  In many ways this makes them like everybody else, with one huge exception.  Your manager has power and influence over the work of human beings.
  2. Your manager thought they wanted the job when it was offered.  Many managers are conflicted.  The organization dressed everything up well, put on the nicest face, but decided to let themselves go after the honeymoon.  Now your manager sees themselves as stuck.
  3. Your manager wants to do the right thing.  She realizes she can't please everyone.  She knows that making a decsion swiftly and resolutely is sometimes needed, even if you don't see it or understand it.
  4. Your manager wants ongoing learning and growth.  But it's very difficult when profit tries to push an unseen opportunity out the door.  Or worse, the organization doesn't care about learning and growth.
  5. Your manager has been a bully all their life and has no intention of stopping.  Unless, of course, someone decides to push back.  He believes the organization is weak for not putting a halt to his behavior.
  6. Your manager is intimidated by people who are smarter and wiser.  They see vulnerability (being ok with not being the crown jewel in the room) as something to be avoided.
  7. Your manager feels like their life is ebbing away.  The other parts of life are demanding much from her, just like the organization.  In many ways she wonders where is the life she dreamed of.

The Authentic Self and Why It Matters

A re-post from last year:

Any number of us have attended conferences, embarked on new programs for growth or decided to change something for the better.  On the face of things, all of those choices are good.  But your authentic self is where it all begins.  If you fail to address authenticity, you run a great risk.  No program, plan or event can help you until the authentic is addressed.

Are you still playing someone else's role?

I fully understand the trepidation involved in addressing who you really are (the authentic self).  It conjures up the idea of no secrets, vulnerability and most of all honesty.  This can be daunting and some just run from the proposition of "going there."  But never forget that who you really are is the safest place you could ever be.  I write this from experience.

Here are some things to consider as you turn to who you really are:

  • If you've been in the habit of lying to your self, make a decision to stop.  Self-honesty is essential in finding the authentic self.
  • Are your friends situational?  Sever the ties.  Situational friends need sunny days, material success and the like to stick with you.
  • Join my tribe at Epic Living (located on Facebook).
  • Read Simon Sinek's book, Start with Why.
  • Have or create a short list of what makes you come alive.

The Life and Work Awaiting

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I've always been a persevering type of human being. That has served me well in the dark times and in the times where a vision was in sight. Today, I have found myself in that place where a new life and work are awaiting me.

Anna Farmery once said to not keep your struggles a secret from your audience. I admired her for stating that, while not sure if it fit me. But of course, those who've followed my blog know about my father, my former life in corporate America and my spiritual side. In some ways I gave you a glimpse. I just never gave you a view of my business model struggles, except the somewhat vague challenges I faced as an entrepreneur.

Now is the time for you to get a deeper view into my current state.

2011 was a year that I needed to see great business/revenue success. After being on my own for 5 years, it was clear financially that a rising tide was needed. Bluntly, I had no more money and enough clients to sustain Epic Living beyond another year.

Last year did not unfold the way I'd hoped.  

As 2011 came to an end, I made plans with my wife to look at other roads to change the state of things. I am in the midst of that now. What will it look like? I don't know for sure, but whatever it is it will have to do 2 things. One, be sustainable from an income/revenue perspective. Two, be something that requires me to show up. That's my prayer anyway.

To you the reader, I want to be clear on a front not easy to write about. I've always been the type, for better or worse, of entrepreneur that believed great work was the best cure for financial needs. Indeed, that is true, and it took me a long time to learn that marketing and sales can be a help if not left to run amok on their own. If you expected me to be more aggressive in selling Epic Living or being more vocal in letting you know that things were rough, I'm sorry.

The life and work awaiting me is a bloom formed out of my experiences from the last 6 years. But that does not mean an ending. It will just look different than today, so I do intend to continue to write in this blog and offer my expertise where appropriate. The other Epic Living services will go quiet in the coming weeks.

As always, you can contact me directly if you want to know more this transition or to pass on some wise input. Thanks for joining me on the Epic Living journey.

Happy New Year

Here's wishing all of our subscribers and readers a Happy New Year. I hope 2012 will be your best ever.

I appreciate you playing an important role in our mission of spreading the ideas of an Epic Living.

The Box

Box

You've heard it a million times; "think outside of the box."  Maybe more would do that if the people asking were not invested in the box industry.  I used to be more tolerant of the think outside the box admonition.  But I've moved to a place where I stop the train if someone tries to put me in a "box" or any other confined category.

I spent a good deal of time in the banking world before moving onto my mission at Epic Living.  I was successful in many eyes. And to this day, I still have people who think my life then was nirvana or even better, I should go back to it because I was so good at it.  When I tell them how much I loathed it, the inevitable furrowed brow appears. 

I no longer take it personally.

The biggest reason people want you in a certain box has very little to do with you.  It really is about them.  It's much easier to keep order and predictability when a friend or colleague stays the way they're perceived.  When someone makes a move outside that zone it produces anxiety, fear and even loathing.  Call it a move to protect what they perceive as safe and secure.