Tag: epic living

Did You Mean My Life?-Update 2011

Wanted to revisit this post for personal clarity and encouragement for you.  Enjoy!

As I've watched my life twist and turn since I began Epic Living, I haven't always embraced the idea of where it was leading.  Maybe because of the surprises (good and bad) that have come my way. 

Ryan Bettencourt of Learn From My Life relayed a story to me, on the radio show, about Daniel Pink.  Daniel made it clear that life was not linear.  Instinctively, we would agree with him.  Who has had a life that lived straight?  Not me.

This past weekend the difference between my work and my life was illustrated vividly. 

I met people at a picnic that seemed to know me even though we'd never met.  Call it destiny or serendipity, but it was clear I was meant to connect.  God is a wonderful writer. So many of my experiences being honed to manifest something beautiful.  As mentioned before, I couldn't have predicted or scripted such encounters. 

OK, I know I'm being vague/cryptic.  The people I met were a part of an organization that I've agreed to help on a long term basis.  Obviously, I will reveal more at a later date.  But this post is not about me.  It's about you and your life.

If you spend your time (who knows how much you've been given) working on work, more than likely your life will evaporate.  Many are doing this now and fooling themselves into believing that a promotion or the number of direct reports validates.  It doesn't.  A simple deception that occurs with every tick of the clock.  By the way many employers are complicit here.

In the movie A Good Year, Russell Crowe's character Max is asked by the CEO what would he choose.  He said; "What'll it be Max, the money or your life?"  You could intertwine money and work on that statement.  Check out the movie and you'll know what I mean.

The following are some things to swallow regarding life and work:

  •     Valuing life first will lead to success beyond your wildest dreams
  •     Valuing life leads to redefining success.
  •     Seeing work as a tool to find a great life is a wise approach.
  •     Your employer will eventually struggle to remember you.
  •     Those who love you are screaming (most of the time silently) for your attention.

What A Florist Taught Me About Life and Work

Spring_Crocus 

I've taught people about the idea of "doing" what makes you come alive many times in my work.  You've either witnessed it in other people or discovered it within yourself.  Regardless, it's priceless and leaves a mark on you.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a florist in my city to buy my wife flowers.  I went to this small business because a couple of friends had just purchased it and I wanted to give them my business.

When I walked in I greeted Amy and congratulated her on the purchase and asked her how things were going.  She talked about the various marketing ideas she had, the changes to the look and feel of the store that were to come and how crazy things were going into the Valentines Day holiday.  But there was one thing she said that left a big mark on me.  The following are her words:

    "When I'm in the back working on arrangements, that's my place, that's my time to be."

Here's what I learned, and am still learning, from her words:

  1. Knowing who you are versus who you are not makes a big difference.
  2. Epic Living is defined by the individual and looks different for each person.
  3. Our Life is screaming out to us to pay attention.
  4. You have to have the vision, the willingness to act and the patience to experience your dreams.
  5. Entrepreneurism is a road filled with opportunity and risk.
  6. Doing a work that requires you to show up is essential.
  7. It's very important to listen to the stories of others.

I'm sure there's more I could add to the list, but we all can utter the words Amy did if we truly are willing to go on the journey.  It's my life's work to help you.

The Danger Of Professional Arrogance

Cracks_appear 

First, you could change the title of this post to "The Danger of Personal Arrogance" if you so desired.

When you have a enough time in your rear-view mirror you can soberly look at your past.  If you're like me, you have had enough experiences to have a track record/history.  You can see what you missed as well as what went wonderfully when you look back-don't stay there too long though.

I was warned at an early stage in my career to avoid arrogance.  It was a poison many advised.  I did a decent job of heeding their advice.  But like any human being, I took my share of poison pills.  Some people and organizations were hurt by my arrogance.  Some applauded with a knife ready to pierce my back, while others figured I'd find my way back home.  And yes, my arrogance was fueled by my power and success.

Now that I've set the context, I'd like you to consider the following:

  1. This is big!  Arrogance robs you of the opportunities to find the things/people that can  help you figure out some of your problems and mystries.
  2. Arrogance lives on the same street as power and success.  Doesn't mean that power and success are bad, just means you shouldn't invite them all over for a Super Bowl party.
  3. When arrogance starts to grow in you, your learning starts to atrophy/die.  This can be reversed but like most things, the longer you wait the tougher it is to change.
  4. Arrogance assures loneliness.  Even if hundred's of people smile and cater to you, the reality is they really don't care.
  5. The chances of living an Epic Life dwindles significantly.  When arrogance takes hold, you'll find yourself too concerned about your "press" and not your legacy.
  6. Arrogance convinces you that you have to be "better than" in order to be safe and protected.  In short, a lie.

Resolving In Grief

It's been some time, but I felt now would be appropriate.  Losing, winning, missing all seem to have their place when a loved one passes.  In my case my dad almost two years removed.  

I've made some heroic attempts at understanding my relationship with a man named Charles.  Not sure I'll ever fully get it, but Sting's song Ghost Story is an ironic portrait of my relationship with my dad.  Kismet.  I thought I would share here as I make my way through a long journey.

I watch the Western sky
The sun is sinking
The geese are flying South
It sets me thinking

I did not miss you much
I did not suffer
What did not kill me
Just made me tougher

I feel the winter come
His icy sinews
Now in the fire light
The case continues

Another night in court
The same old trial
The same old questions asked
The same denial

The shadows closely run
Like jury members
I look for answers in
The fire's embers

Why was I missing then
That whole December
I give my usual line:
I don't remember

Another winter comes
His icy fingers creep
Into these bones of mine
These memories never sleep

And all these differences
A cloak I borrow
We kept our distances
Why should it follow I must have loved you

What is the force that binds the stars
I wore this mask to hide my scars
What is the power that pulls the tide
I never could find a place to hide

What moves the Earth around the sun
What could I do but run and run and run
Afraid to love, afraid to fail
A mast without a sail

The moon's a fingernail and slowly sinking
Another day begins and now I'm thinking
That this indifference was my invention
When everything I did sought your attention

You were my compass star
You were my measure
You were a pirate's map
A buried treasure

If this was all correct
The last thing I'd expect
The prosecution rests
It's time that I confess: I must have loved you