Author: Eric

Why Going Back Doesn’t Work

Road Back 

I recently posted on our Facebook Fan Page the following question:

Why didn't Neo go back into the Matrix?

If you've seen the Matrix, you probably have the answer.  But what's fascinating is how readily we can be to going back to something that doesn't exist anymore.  I guess you could say Neo was super-human and therefore had the stamina to keep going forward.  I think it's more that his eyes were opened and he was caught by the fire of his purpose.

One of the first steps of any journey is to define the purpose (the reason you're here).  Without purpose you're nothing more than a wonderer.  I didn't fully define my purpose until I crossed my personal Rubicon.  I was well under way by that time.  Regardless, it was key in helping me understand the dangers of trying to go back.

We are in a battle, you and I.  The present and the future are unfolding.  There are problems to solve and the resistance is great.

Here are 7 reasons why going back won't work:

  1. When you think about going back, it's usually accompnained by a false-sense that what's behind you was secure.  Revisionism gives us the luxury of telling ourselves lies.  We live in a world that is insecure.  This presents great opportunity too.
  2. Our lifetime is made up of multiple lifetimes.  This means there will be beginnings and endings.  Even the best situations were never made to go on and on.  Freedom is found in letting this happen.
  3. Sometimes God will blow-up that place we romanticize about in-order to get us to the better future we really want.  This is tough to accept.
  4. People and organizations move on.  It's not that you couldn't make it work.  But often you're growth means it wouldn't be a fit.  You should just let someone else have a turn.
  5. Our tendency to avoid loss keeps us lamenting about the "one that got away."  The feeling of liberation that failure can be should be tried.  By the way, Derek Rose misses about 58% of his shots.  So what are you afraid of?
  6. Our best work is ahead of us.  Some call it evolution, some call it progression, either way you should be embracing the work that is here and ahead.
  7. We get comfortable and that is the first step to missing our destiny.  The past provides great perceived comfort.  Mostly because we play the part of writer, producer and director.  Be uncomfortable before someone/something makes you that way.

How Do You Know When The World Has Changed?

Do you know the signs of a changed world?  Apply this to your personal sphere and the larger world too.  Are there certain events or thoughts that trigger this for you?  Maybe it was conversation with a friend or a book from a visionary.  Each of us should remember the where, when and how.  But what if you've got the notice, but decided to ignore it?

Now we're talking about being weighed in the scales of life.

Our lives will be measured by what we are willing to see and what we're willing to act on.  My experience tells me this is not a favorite place for many to be.  Ironic, since it's where the better life, the better future and the better work is found.

 

Matching Your Values to Your Words

Microphone 
 
Do your words match your values?  Not to perfection, but do you live out what you tell the world?  Is your story verifiable?  This is important because if they don't match-up, your wasting time.  And time is a gift.

I had a conversation with my wife last night about a couple we know that is heading for trouble.  The irony is they know it.  But being unsure of what to do, they just keep going.  The husband is very successful in the career and money sphere.  And his pursuits are steering the ship.  I consider him deluded.  If you asked him he'd say he values his family.  Huh?

Now the deal is this.  Everybody has been given the management role in regards to their life.  So I'm not in charge-except in my own life.  That said, I don't think the couple I mentioned desires the negative outcomes of their actions.  I see them like so many others when it comes to their circumstances.  Many people feel like they have no options.  But We do have options, and a lot of them.  But are we willing to do the work that will leave us vulnerable, in pain or afraid? 

This is the Rubicon.

I know it's a harder road to be focused on your words matching up to your values, but think about the following:

  1. Who or what deceived us into believing that relationships, missions, careers, etc., are supposed to be a breeze to deal with?
  2. The life you want will never be handed to you in a box wrapped in red ribbon.
  3. Maybe others are watching you for the inspiration to go forward.
  4. As hard as it may be to hear, often we spend way too much time trying capture the butterfly of happiness.  Maybe we should be still for a second or two and let the butterfly come to us.
  5. Our values are who we are.  This is true even if you try to deny it.
  6. Voices from the past are a part of history, leave them there.  Stop trying to resurrect what is, and should be, dead.
  7. You are responsible-fully.

Positioning

We all know people who are good at positioning for insincere purposes.  This is probably why the word has a fairly negative connotation.  But what about positioning for sincere and "right" reasons?

It could be a game-changer for you.

Whether you're looking for your next job opportunity or pitching a VC on a great business idea, positioning is vital.  Consider it the backdrop for your story.  If your intentions are sincere, then you should want to position the story (compelling and not like the everyone else) for your audience.  Seems to me it would take the edge off of the blues we can tend to experience while pursuing our dreams. 

It's worth it if you want your life to count.  Understand this; if you were looking for any employer, any VC, any business partner, then positioning would be a complete waste of time.  But my guess is you want it to be right.  The question is whether you're willing to go through the fire to find what you're looking for.

After the fire, you'll find the place you were looking for.

Thoughts Around Good Friday

A very special day for me, Good Friday.  In this frame I find myself thinking of my areas of purpose and destiny.  My post is not meant to be too personal or a downer. 

I am struck by what Good Friday represents.  For me, a day of surrendering to your destiny.  The man on the cross new what the cost was and how it played into his destiny.  Is that courage in me?  It is a daunting place to be when you look dead into the eyes of what you were (or are) meant to be.  It can scare you, it can leave you feeling exposed, but it always extends its hand.

Is it crazy that people will ignore their own crossroads experience?  I used to think so, but not anymore.  In America, there has been so much change delivered at a pace unlike any time in our history.  Things that were steady are now in question.  The history we thought would be our future is not so "for sure."  Imagine this, there are people who are holding on tightly to the security promised by an employer (implied or otherwise).  All the while, the employer is soon to be disrupted by a start-up in some place thousands of miles away. 

What is security?

My advice is to get aligned with who you really are and the destiny that follows.  That will weather many, if not all changes.  So if you're an artist, then be an artist.  Damn the voices that say you can't take such risks or that no one will understand.  Anything less will result in regret, or worse, medication to numb you from the truth you aren't willing to face.

I know my post title may have led you to believe I was going to write something religious, but the significance of Good Friday (this one anyway) is about being ok with who you are open and honest.  And the courage to go where your destiny is leading.  For whatever you may think of the man, Jesus did a beautiful job of it.

 

8 Areas For Your Attention And Commitment

What if you gave five minutes to your 8 key areas of life today? 

It's 1:12 PM EST where I'm at, so for those of my subscribers in Europe and Asia you should apply this on your next day.  But for the rest of us, we can fit this in today.

We're talking 5 minutes.  A total of 40 minutes out of 24 hours.

Here are the areas:

  1. Body
  2. Mind
  3. Spirit
  4. Money
  5. Career
  6. Learning
  7. Family
  8. Social

I fully understand that your career is getting 8 or more hours of your attention, but the point is not perfection or equal distribution of time.  The point is attention and commitment to your whole life.  I'm recommending starting small in-order to find great.  I believe with some effort and desire you might find out how precious your life really is.

Leave a comment and let the community know how your experiment went.

 

 

Career Fear Factor

3 Headed Dog 

 

"You are caught by what you are running from." – Sam Keen

 

Does losing your job or not finding a job scare you?  For many, the answer would be yes.  Now if it’s just a passing thought don’t pass out.  I'm speaking of preoccupation and consistent fear.  Most people have, at one time or another, considered the reality.  In 2011 the reality of this type of change is real-for better or worse.  But do you manage your career and life around that fear? 

 

I’ve seen leaders make decisions because they were calculating the most foreboding scenarios.  The great fear of job loss controls their every move.  This motivation produces mediocre results, and even worse, an absence of credibility with those that follow.  And since leaders who hold high positions of power are human, they lead by fear and hope for the best.  Sadly, many leaders and managers infect the very people they're supposed to help.  So what was once a singular issue is now organizational.

 

Human beings are skilled at setting up their own kingdoms…complete with impregnable walls and barbed wire fences.  We think we're in control.  The higher an individual climbs in their respective organization, the more tempting it will become to try to control everything.  That’s why organizations are “certifiable” for not catching their people early in the process.  For example, teaching them about holistic leadership and the danger fear-based living presents.

 

If you desire something great (something that leaves you, your family, other people, and your health intact) from a career, then you’re gonna have to risk.  Maybe even risk that very career you're hold onto so tightly.  I'm a much better human being, leader, entrepreneur because of the risks I've taken.  The risks have not always worked out in my favor, but there is no way I would have become what I am without those risks.

 

Better to get ahead of your fears, before they claim you.

What Failure May Really Mean

There is no doubt that we here in America are success obsessed.  In some ways it makes total sense.  Everyone desires to see positive results from what we put our lives into.  Not everyone measures it the same, but the desire remains.  But in this frame, I'm focusing on the kind of success that we tie our self-worth and identity to.  It is a problem-a big one.

I don't intend to unwrap the root cause of this success obsession.  However, I want to point out how the problem blocks us from breakthroughs.  Somewhere along the continuum, we bought some very expensive lies.  For example, you understand what failure means in the land of of success obsession.  It is to be avoided at all costs and you are to stay away from anything or anyone who has the unfortunate luck of experiencing it.  This is a big mistake to make because the road to breakthrough is paved, in part, by failure.

What if failure is a house of experiements?  What if failure is a refining fire for character and integrity?  What if no true success can come without a significant amount of failure?  I see great value in experiments, integrity and true success.  This column from Sir James Dyson really sets a good tone on this.

 

Getting Involved In Something You Shouldn’t

There's a trap out there, actually a lot of traps, around getting involved in things you shouldn't.  It ranges from career, relationships, business ideas/plans, and much more.

The premise of why people do this is not easily figured out, but when it happens you can usually find self-deceit nearby.  The idea of telling yourself a lie in order to do something in the moment.  Just the moment and no further.  You find yourself regretting it every time.

One of the ways I've found effective in minimizing the number of times I make the mistake of mis-involvement, is to check my God-given peace meter.  For example, I sometimes get pitches to get involved with a business venture.  If I find myself debating or squirming inside, I know it's time to stop.  It doesn't mean I'll never do it.  It just means "right now" is not going to work.

The worst mistake is to move into self-deception and convince yourself that you should do something when everything in you says stop.  Your gut is worth listening to.